[Adso]

I'm 19 year old boy and I'm really confused about muy sexual orientation right now.

When I was 12 or so I realized that I felt sexualy attracted to other boys but not to any girl. At the time I wasn't really comfortable with the idea of being gay but now I have learned to accept myself.

So, the problem is, now that l'm really accepting my homosexuallity, I've been fantasizing about making out with girls which it's quite shocking and new for me. But thats's not it: I have also noticed that I have never really felt attracted to another guy in a romantic way, in fact, I have probably been attracted to girls romantically but, at that time, I thought it was just friendship. In addition, many times I rather watch straight porn than gay porn (although I focus on the guy)

So I'm wondering if I'm bisexual or just some kind of repressed straight guy (if that makes any sense)

Or maybe I'm just paranoid and these fantasies don't really mean anything.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Adso: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry I don't know the answer to your question. What I can tell you is that I had a life-long struggle with gender identity. But, at the same time, I was always straight in terms of my sexual orientation. So it was always extremely confusing for me. One thing I think I can say, though, is that concerns such as the ones you have can be really difficult to sort out. And the only way I know of to do this (other than to just "let it ride" & see what happens) is to avail yourself of the services of a therapist who is knowledgeable regarding sexual orientation issues, & experienced in working with individuals who have them.

The other thing that is perhaps worth noting is that sexual orientation is something that occurs on a continuum. (In that sense it is similar to gender identity.) Some individuals are clearly straight. Others are gay. However, between those two ends of the spectrum, there are as many potential resting places as there are people. The challenge for you is to figure out where you feel comfortable coming to rest. And since you're only 19, you have time to figure this out. You can, on the one hand, just go along & see how things develop, knowing that there is nothing wrong with you... this is simply a natural process many people go through. However, if you feel as though you need or want to try to come to a more definitive conclusion, then this is where counseling or therapy would come in. Continuing to post, here on PC, & to read & reply to other members posts, may well be of benefit too.