Husband is a sex addict, we have kids.

I just found out my husband is a sex addict with severe addiction issues. As far as I know, nothing underage. But his stepdaughter, my daughter, is a teenager and now I'm worried. Any advice? Should I be concerned? She is a bold, brave, outspoken girl who would say something but I don't want to think he's ogling her or anything. I just found this out so I have not really been educated or informed about how it works.

Hello ejo: Thank you for sharing your concern here on PC. I noticed this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry there is not a lot I can offer with regard to your concern. Hopefully there will be other members who will have some thoughts they can share. In the meantime, however, here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

FAQs for Partners of Sex Addicts

6 Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts

Why Partners of Sex Addicts Get Sick: A Vicious Circle | The Impact of Sex Addiction

Recovery in Partners of Sex Addicts | The Impact of Sex Addiction

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

You seem to be assuming that a sex addict will go after teenagers, and that isn't necessarily so. Replying for a friend.

I suppose more wondering than assuming. My world fell apart the past few days and I am trying to learn and protect everyone.

Hello ejo84;6403045. So sorry you are going through something stressful. Can you fill in some blanks? How do you know that your husband is a "sex addict?" Is that a conclusion you came to on your own based on observations or has he told you he was diagnosed by a psych professional? If so, is he participating in some sort of addiction therapy?

You question "underage" issues. I have zero education in sexual addiction but adult sexual addiction and pedophilia seem to be two distinct problems. Are folks living with sexual addiction at higher risk for engaging in predatory behaviors? I have no idea...I think you'd need to ask a licensed sex therapist. For example, I've read that there's a growing trend of young men being addicted to pornography...unhealthy yes...but doesn't necessarily have anything to do with minors or predatory behaviors.

How long have you been married? Were you unaware of these sexual "addictions" before he moved in with you and your daughter? Has he said or done something to indicate to you that he would threaten your daughter's welfare?

With regard to your daughter, I recommend educating her on bodily autonomy and boundaries etc. That will serve her well everywhere in life.

With regard to your questions, I recommend consultation with a marriage therapist who has experience with sex addiction. You can go individually or with your husband. That is to say, if this is a diagnosed disorder.

I hope you will find the info and support you need. Take care

Sex addict is kind of an insulting term to be honest. The correct psychological term would be hypersexual, and that is iffy too, because where do we draw the lines? the average orgasms a week for men is 4. But some men think they are hypersexual, and see a therapist because they did it 1 time a month ago. Real hypersexuality is due to a massive amount of dopamine to the brain, more than usual would 'maybe' mean hypersexual. I think you should talk to him openly about it. Or maybe both could go to couple's therapy to understand his sexuality more. Of human behavior, no behavior is more varied than our sexuality. Our brain is our biggest sex organ.

I recommend you get a book titled Sex at Dawn.

Yeah, I think I would have to know why you think he is a sex addict (if he told you or if you just found a lot of porn on his computer or something). There are a lot of men addicted to pornography, but that does not mean they will go after underage girls. However if you saw child pornography or something, that is definitely a reason to be concerned.

Does your friend behave in such a way? Men do appreciate youth but I have heard sex addicts are less discriminating. They generally have a "mask" of a normal sex life and even marry repeatedly and have several baby mamas.

On this I disagree. I become hyper sexual as a person with bipolar, however I am faithful if in a relationship and not a sex addict. Two different things.

I really don't see our disagreement.

I think everyone here on the thread supports Ejo84 and wants her and hub to be happy and well. We each have different perspectives on it because we each live in a different mind with a different set of experiences. Nothing wrong with that And I think it's wonderful that people care enough to respond