[PahaSapa]

hi. i posted in here a little while ago about trying to figure out my sexual indentity. i had just excepted to myself that i have sexual feelings for men and told my wife about it. it wasn't going so good and that with a bunch of other stuff kinda made me snap for a little while and i stayed in the hospital for awhile. i wasn't sure if i was gay or straight or both and where the feelings were coming from.

i just got back and its really good to be home and i think i am beginning to figure some of this stuff out. my doctor told me that every thing i was thinking was tyed into the abuse that happened before and that i sociate sex with different kinds of feelings some good and some bad. she said that i feel like i have to make every one else happy and punish myself at the same time. and she said that i have to learn to be more in control and not let the memorys of my parents and the people who abused control what makes me happy in my life.

there's still a hole lot of stuff i'm not sure about but i am sure that i love my wife very much and want to be with her forever and i'm not gonna let the bad things that happened in my life make me question that or feel like i'm not good for her anymore. the more and more i talked about and thought about it in the hospital i don't think i could ever love a man the way that i love my wife and that those feelings are for sex only.

i just got back so were still taking it slow and there's a lot to talk about and figure out but it's a huge relieve to know that i don't have to lose her and the great life i got now and it's ok to love her and not feel guilty about it.

[ziggy1]

hey sincity welcome back...! I'm glad your figuring things out. I

think you and i have similiar issues in common. Thats what I've

been told by my doctors too, thats it was because of the abuse

that happened to me as a child. I've been married to woman and

and almost married a guy of 10 years but towards the end we broke

it off. I then dated a woman for 6 months after that and the sex

was great, unfortunately she had an eating disorder and was

institutionalized she became very sick. I just wanted to let you

know I'm here if u wish to talk or compare notes? If not thats ok

but if u need to talk to someone feel free to pm mee, glad to

hear your doing better. Take care...ziggy1

[Cyran0]

sin, welcome back. I was wondering what happened to you. And while I'm sorry you had to be in the hospital for awhile, I'm really glad you're figuring yourself out.

I'm glad you're back.

Cyran0

[snowflake_48888]

Sincity,
I am glad you are back and that your stay in the hospital helped to sort out some of your issues. I have always enjoyed chatting with you and know that you are a good person.
Snowy

[PahaSapa]

hi. thank you for writing back. its good to hear from you guys.