why couldnt you just be a bloke in a chics body?!?!?

how do i get a diagnosis?
i ended up here because the way i handled my last relationship and my thoughts subsequent to it have led me to think i have BPD. A sort of self diagnosis.
All i know is i hate the girl so much but im dying at the thought of being without her.
And she is so calm and resolute about the whole thing. In contrast, im a freakin mess.
i was supposed to call her last night but i kept putting it off. I didnt really want to talk to her.
Then i went all day without messaging her today.
She tried frantically to reach me but i kept ignoring her calls.
By the time i felt like responding, she had decided i was wearing her out and she was sick of my %#@&#!.
Now im devastated.
The only thing i can do to empower myself is listen to black metal which sort of puts me in a rage ... a welcome change to despair.

whats to GO here?

For me, a diagnosis came suddenly, when I was found on the side of the road mumbling something incoherent....but for you, I would recommend a screening on mental health awareness day or a screening at a public hospital, or making an appointment with your primary care doctor who then can refer you to either a psychologist or psychiatrist, or read up more about borderline personality disorder...such as The Broken Mirror by Moskowitz......what do others in your family or friends say, do they think you could have a diagnosis? What led you to believe you did, was it the trait of unstable relationships? I'm borderline and also have many unstable relationships too, yet a few core people who stand by me, which is quite nice.

you can be a guy in a girls body as far as it goes their is no right or wrong its what you want and how you feel