[bananasarecool]

well ive already posted on here about this kinda situation...
basically me performing the first bit of a sexual act with my best friends 17 year old brother.. (im 15).
well a couple of months ago... my friend and her mum had gone upstairs to bed.. and it was just me and him on the couch watching a film... and i just said i was sorry about what i did, cause i dont like him like that.
and he called me a slut, trying to make it sound playful and poked me, so i threw a cushion at him.. then we basically started to playfight till id pinned him down.
hes 6'5 and im only 5'3 so it was kinda hard to lol, and i thought this was him saying that he wanted to be friends
but then he traps my legs under his, rolls over so im squashed under him, pulles his trousers down so its just his boxers, lifts my skirt so its just my pants, grabs my hips and kept trying to feel me up. he then rolls back so im ontop, and hes pulling me onto him and moving me, but when i tried to move away, i couldnt because he was litterally... kinda hugging me but groping my *** at the same time.
sorry its so vivid... but i dont really know how else to describe what happened.
i found out the other day from a friend that couples do this ( i havent told anyone what happened). and its "dry sex"?
i kept telling him to stop, pleading and he wouldnt.
when he had "finished" he got up and left...
i just sat there shaking...
hes gone to college now... and idk what to do.
i still feel disgusting, horrible. a *****...
and every time i see him he slapps my but or tries to grope me, + my friend says hes just joking..
but i really cant cope being her friend anymore
should i just.. keep on keeping it a secret? stop talking to my friend so i dont see this guy?
i understand that its probably my fault for performing that act a while back, before it happened, i just dont know how to make him stop it all

upset
x

[iamtwilight]

it would be best if you could tell the guy seriously what happened made you feel very bad and him slapping your butt or trying to grope you makes you anxious and is not funny at all. after all, he can't read your mind. it's not your fault - i understand why you are upset, i have done something similar at your age. but he can't know if you don't tell him. your friend may think it's a joke but she doesn't know how you feel.

(and yes, what you described - it is a way of having sexual contact. very peculiar in my opinion, but my partner initiates this quite often )


twilight

[Malachite]

Dear BananasAreCool,

You were sexually assaulted, now you are being sexually harassed. Please, be clear, you did nothing wrong! Any conduct, you may have engaged in with him, in the past, is totally irrelevant. He absolutely, had no right to use force on you, in order to facilitate his sexual gratification.

Please, tell your parents, or a counselor at school. Clearly, the incident did upset you, therefore counseling is appropriate. You need to know, you did nothing wrong whatsoever. He did something very wrong. Given your age, it may have been a felony. Don't let false shame keep you silent! You really need to speak up, and be heard. You deserve justice!

Please, take care of yourself,

Larry

[skeeweeaka]

Originally Posted by Malachite

Dear BananasAreCool,

You were sexually assaulted, now you are being sexually harassed. Please, be clear, you did nothing wrong! Any conduct, you may have engaged in with him, in the past, is totally irrelevant. He absolutely, had no right to use force on you, in order to facilitate his sexual gratification.

Please, tell your parents, or a counselor at school. Clearly, the incident did upset you, therefore counseling is appropriate. You need to know, you did nothing wrong whatsoever. He did something very wrong. Given your age, it may have been a felony. Don't let false shame keep you silent! You really need to speak up, and be heard. You deserve justice!

Please, take care of yourself,

Larry

Exactly right.... He had no right no matter WHAT you did in the past with him!

TJ

[pachyderm]

I think that whatever you did and whatever he did, if you are uncomfortable seeing him now, that is what is important to you now. I hope you can find someone to talk to about that, so you can together make a plan to resolve the situation in a way that gives you more comfort.