just an everyday female trying to orgasm...

heya everyone a bit embarrassed to say this, but trying to orgasm isn't working so well!
I've never had one before... looking for advice.

I'm 20, I'm on antidepressants now. I have a boyfriend, we are sexually active and it does feel good, I just don't seem to climax. My bf and I are really close, I really love and trust him, and find him physically attractive.

I have not used sex toys - any suggestions there welcome, or anything else that would help.

suggestions? anyone been in the same spot?

thanks!

Unfortunately, antidepressants have a reputation for blocking orgasm.

Which antidepressants are you on? An alternative might be Wellbutrin, which many people say is better with the libido than other drugs.

I'm a guy, so the issues are probably a little different, but I will say that my orgasm problems dissipated after I was on the meds for a while. Currently I take Cymbalta and I'm not having any sexual issues.

If its not to personal to ask - How long have you been sexual?

I ask because it took me a year from the day I started to have sex to actually have an orgasm... even though I enjoyed every bit of it.

* * * *

As far as sex toys go - I find that a strong clitoral stimulator used with a vibrator works wonders for those females that find it hard to achieve an orgasm with their partner after taking antidepressants.

I don't really know about the antidepressant issues but know that trying to have an orgasm can be different with another than with one's self; I'd experiment with myself and see what feels best from your perspective and if you can give yourself an orgasm or not and then maybe you can help another help you?

Are we talking clitoral or vaginal orgasm? Very, very few women orgasm during sex (except oral), I sure haven't. And I find it difficult with oral as well.
Antidepressives and such can affect your libido and orgasms, I find it difficult to orgasm without a toy - I CAN orgasm, it just takes longer.

Being comfortable with yourself and your body, being able to let go, and being properly turned on is pretty much essential.

I'm a big fan of sex-toys, I have like.. seven. My favorite vibrators are mr rabbit and the egg that comes along with "my first g-spot kit". Never gave me a vaginal orgasms, but the clitoral orgasms are amazing. o.o

First off, before you do anything, why do are you wanting to orgasm?

If you're at least enjoying the sex, you should probably ask yourself if you really care if you climax. Don't be doing it just because HE would feel better about himself, do it because you're like "omgah that'd be coool"

If you still want one I'd talk to your doctor about your pills.

Also, no worries. Since you're in a committed relationship you should be having sex to express something. Just make sure you're loving the emotions that are present, and that it at least feels good. Do that and you're ahead of a lot of women.

Does anyone else think it's kind of disgusting that women have to be like "broken in" that's kind of gross. Just saying. Not in a "it's not fair" way but more in like a "errrm...if it takes so much experience are we suppose to have them?" kind of way.

First off, I have just started Wellbutrin along with Depakote. I have never taken any meds of any kind for depression.

I have no trouble achieving orgasm alone. With a partner other than my ex husband, it was impossible. For four years I didn't with any other partner and finally gave up. I just enjoyed the sex, as you say.

I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now, and just this week had my first orgasm with him! I attribute it to the Wellbutrin absolutely and unequivocally. Whether it aroused me or just relaxed me, I'm not sure. Point is it happened and it was a long time coming, pun intended!

I am on 100 mg once a day. Why not give it a try?

It took me YEARS to finally get an O. At first I could only do it myself. Eventually I got him to go down on me. That is the ONLY way I can O from him. I can't O from vaginal sex. Most women can't. You need clitoral stimulation.

I'm no expert in toys - but there is one, is it the rabbit? I can't remember the name. It's supposed to work...there.

Try just getting a cheap-o vibrator but point it right on your clit for a while, see what happens.

Once you figure out how to get yourself off, then you can figure out how to have him get you off.

Uh, I don't think you really understood my post. Might want to re read it.
I'm fine, thanks.

i lost my virginity when I was 15 and didn't know what an orgasm felt like til I was almost 18 lol. Thats when I discovered that one way that gets it every time guaranteed. And I had only been able to orgasm in one position with one move until about 2 months ago (Im 21 now). Also, I had never orgasmed from oral sex until a couple months ago. Or had multiple orgasms until a couple months ago lol. (man my new boyfriend must be pretty amazing lol)

My boyfriend and I went out and got this thing called a Humdinger (I love the names). Its a ring that he puts on his penis and it has a little knob looking thing that vibrates. Not only does it feel good for you but it feels good for him too. It was like 10 bucks or something at the Lions Den. Ive never used a vibrator before but all the ones Ive seen look way too complicated for me to figure out lol.

The meds (depending upon which one you're on Zoloft and Effexor were horrible in that department for me) can definately affect your enjoyment factor. Meds aside, I think the key thing is being comfortable with yourself and your partner. That makes such a huge difference.

You can orgasm with vagina sex but he has to press down on the area of your vagina that's closest your **** cavity while he's thrusting. Also, he needs to focus on the opening of your vagina and maybe stick a finger or two down there while he's inserted and do a massage technique to your side or bottom wall while thrusting. Also, pressing a little hard on that little bridge between your **** and vagina for awhile and then releasing can give a woman a hungry sensation if done correctly. These are a few things that make me orgasm without clit stimulation. But add clit stimulation to this, a strong steady esculating pace and nipple attention and I'm in heaven.