question

i have alot of sexual confusion in general but i was wondering if anyone else had this probelm, if my husband is pleasing me during sex i am fine but if i cum and waiting for him to i get anxious and irritable and feel used. i also have some fantasys of having sex with other men to please them but i would never do it because i don't really like being screwed myself. sorry i know this is screwed up.

((( HUGS ))) - May I ask if there is sexual abuse in your past?

i think so but i dont know for sure i get some panicky feelings about if my dad harmed me but no memories. i fear i will abuse but dont know why. i have to wash right after sex or i feel dirty. i dunno i think i was so born a perv or weirdo or something.

NO - you were not born a perv.... but I do think your feeling dirty after sex maybe be from some kind of wrong doing sexually from your past as we often see from sexually abused children that grow up to become adults.