[kitty004567]

The night before last I dreamed that I lit a candle on my kitchen counter and accidentally burned my house down with myself and my three dogs in it.

Last night I woke up three times (once an hour) having nightmares that induced panic attacks so bad I couldn't breathe. In one I was in a dark parking lot walking to my car and two groups of people converged on me, maneuvering into position to commit violence. In the second one I was at home and someone crawled through my dog door and slit all my veins open so I would bleed out, they did the same with my dogs. I woke up with a terrible panic attack and had to use my rescue inhaler so I could breathe. I then took some really deep breaths and reassured myself that there was no one in the house so that I could walk from my bedroom to the kitchen (passing the dog door) to take the ativan I have for panic attacks.

The third nightmare was the one that scared me the most. In my dream I was having a psychotic episode and that person who lives in my head and is not me was back and trying to kill me again. I woke up in another panic attack and had to use my inhaler and take more ativan. I then waited for the sun to come up before I went back to sleep. (I've had a serious psychotic episode in which this other person did emerge.. I do not have DID or multiple personalities but this person didn't speak like me and wanted me very dead - at the time I wasn't suicidal. It was very scary but happened 2-3 years ago)

What do I do? Any ideas? I called the local psych hospital to see about outpatient care and they're "out of business". I called another hospital in town but they only do evaluations between 8 and 5 so I have to call back tomorrow... but first I have to make it through tonight.

[liveforfish]

Sleep with the lights on. Keep Ativan next to the bed, stay close to the dogs.
Try and relax using guided meditation. Google and YouTUBE have a few good ones.

[liveforfish]

How'd it go last night?

[kitty004567]

Thank you for asking, last night no nightmares woke me up. I slept 12 hours straight. I would have slept more but I had some kids coming over for me to watch. I did leave a blue light (it's one of those mood-lites, the blue one I had on is either the "serenity" or "peace" one) on all night and kept the ativan on my headboard. I usually have some music on (I usually use the "delta sleep" music by Dr. Jeffrey Thompson or one of his other CD's. They all have delta waves embedded in them to help you fall asleep and stay that way.) but last night I fell asleep without it.

[liveforfish]

I'm glad your feeling better. Sound waves to help with sleep huh? I'll have to try that CD.

[kitty004567]

I wasn't sure I believed that they really made you sleepy so I burned that music along with other classical music onto a cd and gave them to my massage therapist. I asked her to let me know if any of the tracks made her sleepy (of course I told her there was a possibility she'd get sleepy and asked if it was ok). Interestingly, all of the tracks with the delta waves were the ones she picked as making her and her clients sleepy.