[clouds_and_sun]

See my parents completely stopped talking to me over two years ago, I have no other family so I am "orphaned". I tried so many times to get my parents to talk to me again but they will not. father is a gambler and loves money more than life and mother is a drunk.
Okay, I get it that they HATE me they want NOTHING to do with me, I think that they wish I was never born (they adore my brother cause he has one kid and my brother was never homeless like I was for a short time).
But it is the dreams that really discourage me. They are always of the same damn thing, I visit my mother and father and they are so warm and opening and want me to stay and live at home to be with them, they are so loving and kind. I wake up incredibly sad, I just want the dreams to stop, they make me so depressed every single time I wake up from them.
I know that it could be cause of how I hate where I live now and I hate my living conditions and I know it hurts me that I don't have any family, but reality is that I live in such crap conditions (bad boarders) and my parents don't want to talk to me, but every time I wake up I feel so down and how I dont even want to be around. It hurts more than I can possibly put into words.

[shezbut]

(((clouds and sun)))

Your dreams seem pretty telling of what you wish for, imo. Thoughts and emotions that apparently haunt you ~ day by day.

Is there any way of re-starting a relationship with your parents? Perhaps starting out very slowly, with a note sent saying that you are thinking about them & hope that they are doing okay. Try not to go into own feelings and experiences with them until a better rapport is built up again and you can see that the relationship is strong. Meaning: They won't disown you again due to your rough times in life.

Best wishes sent your way