[Morgana]

--r*pe/sexual abuse triggers--

Last night, I had a really scary dream. :/ I was...trying to go camping, I think? I remember some sort of convenience-type store, and walking along the side of a road. A hotel kept popping in and out of view...it would vanish for a big chunk of the dream, and then re-appear. I remember walking up the stairs and trying to get back to my room before this woman realized I was out, but I can't remember where that part happened in the dream.

Anyway. There was this woman. I can't remember what she looked like, but she was older than me, so probably in her 30s/40s. She kept r*ping me and abusing me in all of these awful ways, using stuff lying around. I couldn't move or get away...all I could do was struggle. She kept telling me that this is what I needed, and that it was all my fault.

Finally, I got away and ended up on this giant ship. It had a playground on it, it was so big. And it had all these people on it around my age who had gotten away from this woman, too...boys and girls, it didn't seem to matter.

I went into the kitchen to get something to eat and suddenly, she was there. She got some chili mac leftovers and just started talking to me, like a normal conversation. I kept expecting her to grab me, but she never did, she just got her leftovers and left.

And then I woke up.

It really freaks me out because it's not a flashback...at least, not a specific flashback (never been hurt like that by a woman, as far as I know). So just...why would I dream that? I can't seem to get past the "holy eff, that was terrifying!"

[SophiaG]

Maybe you still feel helpless and stuck in your abuse, so it is manifesting itself in your dreams?

[likewater]

That sounds like dreams i have about my mother who r*ped me. I have those dreams and they are the worst. Im sorry you are having them. Could it be possible your subconscious is telling you that you were abused in that manner?

[Morgana]

Oh, I hope not. Really hope not. Cuz as far as I know, I was never p*netratively abused by a woman...not like that. My sister came closest, I think? Not an older woman? For some reason, think of my aunt when she was younger, but before we were an adult, last time we saw her was when I was 3. Although also don't remember what my friend S. did because I spaced out completely...hmm...maybe we should start asking around inside a bit.