normal sleep patterns are impossible

i'm writing this at about 7:30 in the morning. i haven't slept all night. i tried to. but i just.. couldn't.

i have things to do tomorrow. i've tried to sleep but just couldn't. my thoughts consume me and take my slumber away. during nighttime, it's quiet and dark and lovely. it's beautiful. but i suppose sometimes quiet is violent. because that's when i overthink and lose sleep. and occasionally have panic attacks.

i don't know what to do. nights are miserable. i lay there for hours with my eyes closed, but i only finally go to sleep about 8 or 9 am on an average night. i also have to get up at about 1 pm. it's not healthy and i know it isn't. and i don't know what's wrong with me. i want a normal sleep schedule. but it's all just so off. so wrong.

and when i sleep, i tend to have crazy dreams. not really nightmares. just dreams that are so bizarre and just kind of leave me, upon waking up, laying there trying to analyze what happened. i wake up exhausted and confused. and i can barely convince myself to get out of bed in the morning. (or afternoon)

i just want to lay down at midnight and go straight to sleep. but i can't. i just lay there.

Concentrate on the quiet around you. Tell yourself the anxiety you feel is not rellavent to present time, or the quiet that is around you.