[Steiner of Thule]

I always dream of murder/hurting others. I mean overall my dreams have been weird but as of the last 6 months it has involved a lot of warped elements. It started with mainly dogs at first. I would always feel threatened. Lately it's just been people though. The one I had last night involved hanging 7 others and then myself in a hallway. Usually very vivid because I could watch my own neck strain to stay alive. I didn't die because a group of people took me down.

Then they spread peanut butter on my wounds to help them heal.

Whenever I try to interpret it myself with those online dream dictionaries it seems to make sense with how I am actually feeling about myself.

[Steiner of Thule]

Another one last night, I wasn't quite clear what was going on but it involved punching my dog in the face multiple times. I was trying to discipline her I think. She then bit me and latched on and I punched her in the face some more until her face was bloody. She then cried and I comforted her and felt bad about what I had done. My parents were there and were flabbergasted at what I had done. There were some other random dogs some as small as my hand and I would choke the tiny dogs with my hand and fling them. They were like small chihuahuas.

There was another point in the dream that involved selling people ice cream made of ****, I think I was laughing hard and could feel the laughter in my awakened state if that makes sense. Like I was laughing while I was asleep.

[Thunder Bow]

These dreams show you are being hard on yourself and you are beating yourself up. Are you seeing a Therapist? Therapy may help you understand yourself better, and help you see that you are not such a bad person after all. Time for you to start taking care of yourself, and honor yourself more.

[Perna]

They're your dreams So, Mr. Steiner, it's your imagination/unconscious coming up with the symbols and story that are most understandable by you.

I would start with the "easiest" and most fun: peanut butter to heal wounds? Did you have a lot of PB&J sandwiches as a kid and enjoy them? That's a healing of sorts? Good memories from when we were a kid?

Killing off dogs, then generic people, then yourself -- looks like some sort of progression to me but the Self gets saved? Have you been working on any psychological issues lately (like in the last 6 months :-) It could be you are making progress or it could be the opposite, the dogs didn't get your attention when everything was "going to the dogs" so you went on to killing people, "others" (ain't MY fault! I didn't do it!) and that didn't help so you graduated to killing yourself but Yourself wasn't having that

I would think up a dream while you are awake, same themes you think you see/understand with these dreams but with where you would like them to go? Let your self see you are working on understanding, you're trying to "get it" and would your unconscious please quite "giving it to" you in this fashion, if you please? LOL Talk to yourself, non-dreamer to dreamer.

You understand more than you think, after all, you weren't taken in by **** ice cream were you?!

[Hetty]

Thunder Bow and Perma - some good thoughts for exploration.
I've worked a lot with trying to understand my dreams and daydreams. I like to remember dreams and what they tell me. For me, most dreams show me what I am feeling during the day, but in symbols that make the feelings more clear. Dreams can get complicated, often using symbols we have recently experienced. If it were my dream, of punching for example, I would ask myself, am I having this feeling sometime during my waking life? Punching sounds to me like an expression of frustration or dislike. Trying to discipline sounds like something in yourself that you are trying to control that gives you resistance. But it could be something else, too.
My dreams tell me what I'm feeling and what I need to work on in myself. You say you felt threatened. When do you feel threatened in your waking life? What circumstances? Then you felt bad for what you'd done - maybe feeling bad about having feelings of wanting to hurt or kill what you feel threatened by? How did you feel when a group of people took you down from hanging? How did you feel when they spread peanut butter on your wounds? For me, it is the feelings, sensations, emotions that are a big clue to what the dreams mean. Sometimes I do a kind of free-association to the symbols, too, and that often helps me understand where the dream came from. The symbols and the feelings are related.
Re Thunder Bow's comment, one way to look at dreams is to see every character as an aspect of yourself. That fits with beating up on yourself. Sometimes I talk to the characters and ask them what they are trying to tell me.

[Steiner of Thule]

The disciplining as Hetty said makes sense. Trying to reign control. Of my anxieties. I feel threatened whenever I have to deal with anyone. My main problem in life is social phobia so.

I'm not sure what I felt when they took me down. I think I was more absorbed in the details of the situation and numbed sitting while they applied peanut butter. I have a problem with trying to live life and perhaps it is relating to my inability to go outside and do normal things.AKA agoraphobia. Though I am not really getting any help with my issue and it always ends up with me back at home wondering if I will ever get out. Trapped.

There was some more sections to the first dream that I just didn't bother to mention. I was in a class in highschool to be specific the entire dream took place in high school. It was a high school hallway. The class I was in we were looking at harpies in a text book about how they would engulf their victims in a shadowflame. My dreams tend to be all over the place because the next moment I am going to my locker and I have had many dreams involving the same exact locker and usually I can never remember the code to open it. I managed to open it in this dream on the first try. It was empty and then I got lost in thought thinking why do I bother to have a locker if I never use it. Then fast forward to the dream above where I am hanging in a hallway.

Usually in my past dog killing dreams I feel intense anger and hatred. I am trying to defend myself or something else of mine.

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by Perna

They're your dreams So, Mr. Steiner, it's your imagination/unconscious coming up with the symbols and story that are most understandable by you.

I would start with the "easiest" and most fun: peanut butter to heal wounds? Did you have a lot of PB&J sandwiches as a kid and enjoy them? That's a healing of sorts? Good memories from when we were a kid?

Killing off dogs, then generic people, then yourself -- looks like some sort of progression to me but the Self gets saved? Have you been working on any psychological issues lately (like in the last 6 months :-) It could be you are making progress or it could be the opposite, the dogs didn't get your attention when everything was "going to the dogs" so you went on to killing people, "others" (ain't MY fault! I didn't do it!) and that didn't help so you graduated to killing yourself but Yourself wasn't having that

I would think up a dream while you are awake, same themes you think you see/understand with these dreams but with where you would like them to go? Let your self see you are working on understanding, you're trying to "get it" and would your unconscious please quite "giving it to" you in this fashion, if you please? LOL Talk to yourself, non-dreamer to dreamer.

You understand more than you think, after all, you weren't taken in by **** ice cream were you?!

When it comes to peanut butter the sandwiches were usually soggy and depressing along with always eating alone.

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

These dreams show you are being hard on yourself and you are beating yourself up. Are you seeing a Therapist? Therapy may help you understand yourself better, and help you see that you are not such a bad person after all. Time for you to start taking care of yourself, and honor yourself more.

I tend to beat myself up but It's hard not to. I feel pretty useless in my life and I have no control. I don't have a therapist.

[Hetty]

Re your locker dream - high school anxieties stayed with me for years, and I often had exactly that dream where I'd go to my locker and couldn't remember the combination. Then I'd have to go to the office and admit to them that I forgot my combination again.
My first therapist was a marriage counselor that my now-ex and I went to when I was 26. If not for trying to save my marriage, I doubt I ever would have gone to a therapist or counselor. I got lucky because the counselor was very good at helping us express our feelings and needs, while he did not get personally involved as friends often do. He focused a lot on "reality" too - what is actually happening. I was so impressed with his skills that I started taking psychology courses, eventually getting a degree in human development and then a masters in education and counseling. I think that a good counselor can be a godsend, but if you first go to someone who gets you feeling worse instead of better, you might need to find someone else. "Shopping" for a professional who helps you isn't how most people think of getting a therapist, but a good match can really help. Among other things, you need to both like each other.
Are you a person who can learn from books? There are some great self-help books available. You can go to a bookstore and check out the self-help section, or check out online bookstores.
After my first counselor, I decided that it was a resource that I wanted to keep in my life. I used to make new connections by looking under social services in the yellow pages of the phone book. Currently I am ill and homebound, but I have a social worker that I like very much who comes and visits me once a month. She is very good at helping a person focus on what they need, and she is also personable and friendly.
What inspires you, or comforts you? What did you love to do as a child? What do you look forward to? And what are your strengths?

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by Hetty

Re your locker dream - high school anxieties stayed with me for years, and I often had exactly that dream where I'd go to my locker and couldn't remember the combination. Then I'd have to go to the office and admit to them that I forgot my combination again.
My first therapist was a marriage counselor that my now-ex and I went to when I was 26. If not for trying to save my marriage, I doubt I ever would have gone to a therapist or counselor. I got lucky because the counselor was very good at helping us express our feelings and needs, while he did not get personally involved as friends often do. He focused a lot on "reality" too - what is actually happening. I was so impressed with his skills that I started taking psychology courses, eventually getting a degree in human development and then a masters in education and counseling. I think that a good counselor can be a godsend, but if you first go to someone who gets you feeling worse instead of better, you might need to find someone else. "Shopping" for a professional who helps you isn't how most people think of getting a therapist, but a good match can really help. Among other things, you need to both like each other.
Are you a person who can learn from books? There are some great self-help books available. You can go to a bookstore and check out the self-help section, or check out online bookstores.
After my first counselor, I decided that it was a resource that I wanted to keep in my life. I used to make new connections by looking under social services in the yellow pages of the phone book. Currently I am ill and homebound, but I have a social worker that I like very much who comes and visits me once a month. She is very good at helping a person focus on what they need, and she is also personable and friendly.
What inspires you, or comforts you? What did you love to do as a child? What do you look forward to? And what are your strengths?

I've never been good with books to be honest. I like the idea of them but have never been able to get into them.

I can't seem to go outside unless my parents take me out. I can't use the phone or do anything social. The words won't come out and if I can manage to get them out they get all garbled sounding along with the feeling that I am about to black out. I kind of hate trying to answer questions about myself because it just never seems to work out. I'm not really inspired by anything and I don't really know what comforts me.

As a child I never went out because I was afraid then as I am now of socializing. I had a reputation as a mute up until high school. I never wanted other kids to come over and I never played with other kids. The only thing I did as a kid was play online mmos by myself or some other video game. I was given a lot of negative attention by my father and brother because of the mmos. Specifically the first MMO I played and grew up around, Everquest. My dad was really into that game when I was a kid and would have me try to play it. It's more of a game for adults and overall as mmos go Everquest was a really hard game. I wasn't very good at it and it put a lot of pressure on me because my dad would expect me to do certain things which I would fail at and then get punished for. Though it felt like that with anything I did that if I failed I would get punished and told I was worthless.

I don't really have anything I am good at. People tell me I can write good online but then again I don't have the drive to write anything and it overall feels depressing because I get obsessive about the quality to the point that it depresses me from trying. I feel like I am being pigeonholed into trying to develop myself into something I am not because of my lack of skills and ability to go out.

I could say I am socially retarded but I feel my social ineptitude comes from just my lack of general brain power.