[Olanza-what?]

Can anyone help interpret this dream.

I dreamed that I was laying on a hospital table, semi conscious and the doctor and nurses had trouble incubating me. I could feel the long tube go down my throat with great force. I started gagging and they pulled it back out long enough for me to catch my breath, but after catching my breath, they again shoved the tube down my throat. I could hear them talking and they talked how I always made my illness worse than what they thought it was and how I now deserved what I was getting, that it was what I wanted all along.

It repeated the same thing over and over, but each time the conversation and doctors/nursed changed, on the last attempt to get the tube down my throat, I sat up on the hospital bed and grabbed the tube and shoved it down my throat as they yelled at me to swallow, swallow they kept saying...

I woke up and usually when I have bad dreams I realize that I am dreaming, but this time was different, it was very real to me, so much so, I didn't know where I was when I woke up.

[Thunder Bow]

Maybe you feel you have to swallow our own words and feelings. You feel you are choking on them. Holding in your feelings can make you sick, and you feel accused or at fault. You feel you deserve bad feelings. Time to cough them up. You do not deserve to feel bad, and hold in, and shove down your feelings.

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Maybe you feel you have to swallow our own words and feelings. You feel you are choking on them. Holding in your feelings can make you sick, and you feel accused or at fault. You feel you deserve bad feelings. Time to cough them up. You do not deserve to feel bad, and hold in, and shove down your feelings.

Thank you for taking time to help me deal with this dream.

Yes, I have been struggling terribly with my emotions for sometime now. I have this site/PC forums to puke them up. I only post them on my wall tho, don't wanna make anyone else puke so to speak. I've tried sharing what I feel with pdoc, family, co-workers, but they just shake their heads and tune in with deaf ears.

I also thought that something is going to happen to me, sick wise, I usually dont dream about myself in the visual sense. I always, always dream about others and events to come, sometimes very accurate. SO this dream disturbed me a lot. To see my whole self as I am. The smells, colors, and atmosphere was very clear and real.

[Thunder Bow]

In real life, you feel those people mentioned, are shoving a tube down your throat. Many do not like to be around emotionally open people, for it makes them aware of their own feelings. That makes them uncomfortable.

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

In real life, you feel those people mentioned, are shoving a tube down your throat. Many do not like to be around emotionally open people, for it makes them aware of their own feelings. That makes them uncomfortable.

Yes, you're probably right. It/they leaves me isolated/alienated. Sad place to be in and a lot for me to swallow. I don't talk about what I feel when I am with them, I just pretend that I am fine, just like they are.

[Thunder Bow]

..."Sad place to be in and a lot for me to swallow"....

Thus the Tube being shoved down your throat! You hit the hail on the head!