Dream That I Had

There seem to be a lot of KOTOR and KOTOR II stuff popping up in my dreams as of late. I dreamed this time that I was playing the Restored Content mod again, and I was on Malachor V -- except I had the option of, this time, bringing my party members with me. There was Mira, the bounty hunter in the game, and there were the prison cells that at one point, your party members are locked in, and she says, "I wouldn't go in there if I were you." I also remember the last part of the dream was me being stranded on Dantooine without my crew (who thought I was dead) and having to take an alternate means of transportation. There was also another portion that involved a rivalry between two female roommates, I think over voice acting, the cast of the Big Bang Theory going on a ski trip with some other girl that I can't say I recognized, and me wondering what a genderflipped Sheldon Cooper would look like. Those were the portions I remember, but mostly, I remember the portions that were...actually a lot like a KOTOR adaptation I was going to write before Disney probably (emphasis on probably) made it non-canon.

That's the most vivid part of the dream I can remember, at least. If there are any other really vivid parts, I'll post about them as well. I'm just glad it wasn't an outright nightmare.

This dream was just you mind processing everyday life and things. It does show you have an active and creative mind.

The prison seems to be an important piece of the puzzle. Being that the other parts of your team (parts of your psyche) were in there, it might be that this is your subconscious addressing more layers waiting to be integrated....and noting that you aren't ready for it yet.

Was your tv on again? :P

ThunderBow, yeah, I definitely do. I have had it ever since I was a kid, actually.

Medkev...that's a good point, actually! I'm going to have to describe the scene (so you might want to skim in case I get too geeky) in the TSLRCM just to give you some context (and also, KOTOR has played a part in my life, a really big one. I've actually been comparing my journey to finding the Star Maps in the first game because they feel the same way -- putting together pieces of a puzzle) -- basically, the (spoiler alert!) evil mentor figure imprisons the crew members in the cells as a test for the main character (whether he/she will save them or abandon them or even kill them. Basically either integrating these parts, not integrating them, or outright killing those parts) -- except for the Han Solo-ish character, who escapes, only to get into a duel with the evil mentor figure's minion. Also, the engineer who did something terrible with the main character that he's trying to undo through, ironically, the destruction that got him carrying this guilt in the first place.

The people who end up getting captured are:

Mira: The bounty hunter who I mentioned earlier. She comes from a troubled background, she was captured as a kid by Mandalorians (Jango Fett's species) and taught different skills. After a certain battle against the Mandalorians, she was orphaned and left to survive as a bounty hunter. And in a crowning moment of No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, she's subject to attempted murder by someone's life she saved (who was trying to kill her in the first place). She's also very comfortable with her sexuality, has...unconventional ideas as to how to get men, and fundamentally wants to fix the galaxy and make it better.

Visas Marr: Let's say that she's had a hard life. Her planet got destroyed by someone who was originally planned to be...well, literally a personality split off from the main character by a traumatic event -- basically destroying a planet. Make of that what you will. Her establishing scene includes



And in her own way, she's strong herself. Even with the learned behaviors that she got from her master, she's compassionate, calm, poetic and incredibly brave.

In terms of what her master looks like -- he's cloaked entirely in black except for a skull-like mask, and when he talks...well, the way he speaks, it's nothing anyone can understand, except these strange sort of gurgles -- he's a bit like a horror movie villain or something. Also, he feeds off the Force -- it's kind of like he's a Force vampire. And there's a bit of the shadow there for the main character, like "This is who you could be if you're not careful".

Mical (if the player's a girl): Was going to be the main character's student, but got left behind when the main character went off to war. Despite all this, just a generally nice, upbeat kind of guy, and compassionate.

Brianna (if the player's a guy): A warrior figure, sheltered, lost her family at a young age (her mother was lost in the same battle that left Mira orphaned and her father was murdered) and there's the fan theory that her mother might actually turn out to be the same evil mentor from the game I mentioned. So...back to evil maternal figures again. Oh yeah, and she's basically bullied by her half-sisters because of her heritage. Poor girl goes through a lot of crap.

Mandalore: A character from the previous game who mostly wants to rebuild his people and make them proud. Doesn't want his people enslaved by the Sith.

So there's abuse, lack of a family (pretty much nobody on the crew has a family, the "substitute" one of them has could be called abusive and basically kidnapped her after he destroyed her planet thanks to his addiction, one of them has a bad father and a dead mother, one of them has a mother who could be the villain behind all of this, stuff like that. They're the best family they've got and even they're constantly at each other's throats, and only their loyalty to the main character keeps them together -- and even then, the main character kind of is responsible for a lot of their issues, thanks to one horrific event. And he/she cut him/herself off from the Force to survive the ordeal, which...is a bit like dissociation/repression), things like that. In terms of how it relates to me, there are times when I feel alienated from my family, and it's like other people are the best family I have. I also have a recent fear that I may have dissociated, which might tie into all of this.

As for the prison itself...it was kind of different than in the game. It was all laid out in a sort of grid, and the prison cells glowed red, like if I stepped into them, my feet would get burned. Mira was the one to hold me back, so maybe the layers I'm not ready for have to do with sexuality, family, letting go of anger and grief (because that's part of her healing), and maybe some truths about my dad as well (because I've been having some disturbing contextless images about my dad as well).

Then there's the people who got out. There's an assassin droid with a sick sense of humor who picks up newer models of him to do his bidding, a reformed assassin who signed up in the first place because he felt abandoned by the Jedi (and is called a "fool" by the evil maternal figure), a droid trying to prevent the destruction of the planet the team's on because he wants galactic stability to fulfill his programming, the droid who's carrying out the plan in the first place, and the engineer, of course. Are there qualities in there that need to be addressed as well? And be integrated?

And considering there were new areas in the Academy that I hadn't seen before -- maybe it's a metaphor for what I have to yet uncover. It could also call back to before the flashes, when I was working on a script for the game that I never really finished.

Yeah, Netflix was on. Not Big Bang or anything, though -- I put on Groundhog Day with Bill Murray.