So I have been feeling rather calm for nearly a week. I have even thought that I don't belong at PC anymore but have just decided to stay hoping to be occassionally encouraging (Plus I just like so many people here). Not this morning. Right before waking, dreamed my left hand was gripping my neck to the point of choking myself but felt to paralyzed to stop, awaken myself, etc. It felt like I was on my back (side sleeper) and it seemed to go on and on with my anxiety heightening the longer it went on. Upon finally waking myself up, my anxiety was extreme (and I don't know why). Took an anxiety medication--something I now only rarely take. Maybe I do still belong here.

[Thunder Bow]

Maybe you are feeling anxiety about posting here. Keeping yourself from speaking out?

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Maybe you are feeling anxiety about posting here. Keeping yourself from speaking out?

It's possible. I worry about how my posts effect others. Today my H said something that made me think he had just read what I had just posted. I won't bother asking him because he's lied about it before and then was caught! I also try to tread lightly here because so many people at PC are discouraged about life--past trauma, and all the rest of it. But, on balance, my posts have probably done more good than harm. That's what matters. Thanks for responding Thunder Bow.

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Today my H said something that made me think he had just read what I had just posted. I won't bother asking him because he's lied about it before and then was caught!

Maybe I have a problem with thinking these things about my H and then not feeling enough trust to express it? Or maybe some things should only be discussed in therapy? Yes, I do struggle with wondering how wise it is to "share" certain things.

[Thunder Bow]

Sharing our feeling and thoughts involve some risk, but I think it is worth it.

[Eyes of Blue]

The hand represents the "acts of the hand" - those things that you do, have done or would do. In this scene it indicates that when committing an act or deed coming of a wrong perspective (the left hand) you are actually choking yourself. Choking yourself represents the idea of cutting yourself off from access to air, which means denying yourself access to higher consciousness and intelligence, especially God's Intelligence.

Sleeping on your back implies resting with complete peace of mind in a position, or with an attitude, that allows you to face the Lord. (face pointing upwards) Yet this scene shows that where you see yourself in such a position you are actually choking yourself. Note that reality would show that you do not rest at ease face up. (you are a side sleeper)

Feeling too paralyzed to stop implies that you feel you are unable to make a move to stop yourself from doing this. This is creating great anxiety on a subconscious level (the dreaming level), an anxiety that increases the longer you persist in this wrong doing. The anxiety has now become so extreme that it has begun to affect you even on a fully conscious (the awake) level. [Are you perhaps trying to live by ignoring the beliefs you were brought up with? Where there is anxiety within, you will be very prone to anxiety in the physical world - because there is no base of security within you.] You need to really wake yourself up, i.e. come to a greater state of awareness about this situation.

[MtnTime2896]

I don't know about the dream but I do know that you belong here. And yes, your posts (in my experience) have always been helpful and insightful.

[Eyes of Blue]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I don't know about the dream but I do know that you belong here. And yes, your posts (in my experience) have always been helpful and insightful.

Thank you for your comments. It is nice to feel wanted and useful.

Eyes of Blue