[sky dancer]

OK, maybe not on Elm Street.

I dream about two people who I formerly served as a Case Manager with them in a special program for dual diagnosis offenders.

The female is murdered and her body is chopped up. I feel responsible for her. I'm not sure if I killed her, or I somehow caused her to be murdered, but in the dream I feel terribly guilty.

The other subject in the dream, is a man I know from the same program. I'm hiding him under the covers. Some people are looking for him and he's asked me to protect him.

A tall black man, a colleague comes into the room, saying he's looking for the man, and that the woman has been murdered. Then the black man looks at me and says; "I used to trust you."

Isn't that creepy? I woke up in a complete panic, sweating, and couldn't go back to sleep.

[Shelle]

Originally Posted by sky dancer

OK, maybe not on Elm Street.

I dream about two people who I formerly served as their Case Manager in a special program for dual diagnosis offenders.

The female is murdered and her body is chopped up. I feel responsible for her. I'm not sure if I killed her, or I somehow caused her to be murdered, but in the dream I feel terribly guilty.

The other in the dream, is another man from the same program. I'm hiding him under the covers. Some people are looking for him and he's asked me to protect him.

A tall black man, a colleague comes into the room, saying he's looking for this man, and that this woman has been murdered. Then the black man looks at me and says; "I used to trust you."

Isn't that creepy? I woke up in a complete panic, sweating, and couldn't go back to sleep.

what was the female patient in for before she was murdered? The man your hiding is he there for treatment of the same exact problem? Was the tall black man a therapist that treated the same patients or specilized in the same treating the same disorder>?

[sky dancer]

Originally Posted by Shelle

what was the female patient in for before she was murdered? The man your hiding is he there for treatment of the same exact problem? Was the tall black man a therapist that treated the same patients or specilized in the same treating the same disorder>?

The female patient in RL was arrested for assault. She was drunk and disorderly. She has PTSD, a very heavy family history with a ton of abuse of all kinds.

She dissociates, and thinks she has a demon.

The man I was hiding, in RL has schizoaffective disorder and was arrested for a sex offense that he committed while under the influence of meth.

There is no black man in RL. But in the dream, he was another colleague--either a social worker like myself--or someone in Probation.

I used to work in Mental Health in a program that partnered with Alcohol and Drugs and the Probation departments.

I think this may be related to a flashback I had last week of being molested by my uncle. I talked to my T about it this week and he said I'm not ready to work on it yet. I think I get it. I was able to stop the sexual abuse, but then my uncle took it up with my younger sister.

[Shelle]

Originally Posted by sky dancer

The female patient in RL was arrested for assault. She was drunk and disorderly. She has PTSD, a very heavy family history with a ton of abuse of all kinds.

She dissociates, and thinks she has a demon.

The man I was hiding, in RL has schizoaffective disorder and was arrested for a sex offense that he committed while under the influence of meth.

There is no black man in RL. But in the dream, he was another colleague--either a social worker like myself--or someone in Probation.

I used to work in Mental Health in a program that partnered with Alcohol and Drugs and the Probation departments.

I think this may be related to a flashback I had last week of being molested by my uncle. I talked to my T about it this week and he said I'm not ready to work on it yet. I think I get it. I was able to stop the sexual abuse, but then my uncle took it up with my younger sister.

The guilt may be in saving a sexual offender and feeling helpless like the girl who was murdered, the colleague make represent clinical reasoning but also a certain detachment that gets percieved at times when we work through a very traumatizing experience in raw emotions. The addiction could be the net.

[sky dancer]

Originally Posted by Shelle

The guilt may be in saving a sexual offender and feeling helpless like the girl who was murdered, the colleague make represent clinical reasoning but also a certain detachment that gets percieved at times when we work through a very traumatizing experience in raw emotions. The addiction could be the net.

I think the murdered girl is my sister, and the guilt I feel over being able to stop my own sexual abuse, but then seeing my uncle take it up with her.

She and I only talked about it once as adults. My uncle molested her too. I feel guilty about that, and I feel that I didn't protect her, that I let her down.

BTW I lost this job in RL due to my PTSD. I never got to say goodbye to these folks.

[sky dancer]

Originally Posted by Shelle

The guilt may be in saving a sexual offender and feeling helpless like the girl who was murdered, the colleague make represent clinical reasoning but also a certain detachment that gets percieved at times when we work through a very traumatizing experience in raw emotions. The addiction could be the net.

There is something paradoxical about all this. Just recently I was musing some place on the net--why is it that we place sexual abuse in a special category of abuse--and make the pedophile worse than other kinds of abuse perpetrators.

I've been in denial that the sexual abuse had any long lasting effects on me. I even stood up for a poster that others accused of being a pedophile. I always thought the other kinds of abuse I suffered had worse effects on me. (I still think that)

Yet, last week, in a body work session I had this flashback as clear as day of my uncle sticking his long skinny tobacco stained fingers in my pants. I bet it was the day after I was swearing that this experience 'didn't bother me all that much".