[RebbieDoll]

So this is my third attempt at quitting, and it's been harder every time. This time I've been trying patches but they make me sick if I leave them on for more than an hour. So I just have to deal with it without help from patches. But I am just so unbelievably irrationally furious at absolutely nothing. I'm just sitting in my room, seething with rage. I feel so insane and furious at life and everything. And I can't vent to my family because they would kill me if they knew I smoked. So UGH!!! Just needed to vent a little.

[ACanthony1984]

Hi Rebbie- I'm not a psychologist and I've never even touched 1 cigarette in my life so I'm probably not the best person to give advice to you. I have battled a few addictions in my day (gambling- which I've overcome and pornography- which I still struggle with). I know what it feels like to be addicted to something, to want to quit, and not be able to. #1. You're not going to overcome this addiction overnight. Gradually smoke less and less. Try to smoke 1 or 2 less cigs a day. #2. I think you should make an attempt to live healthier. Exercise more (do it gradually, go for a 10 minute walk per day, then 1/2 hour walk, and then maybe even a jog). Drink more tea and stuff that is good for you. Try to eat healthy and once you realize all the great things you are doing to be healthy, you'll realize how silly it is to smoke. That being said, smoking isn't a sin. You're not doing damage to no one but yourself. It's an unhealthy, ugly habit, but you will learn to get rid of it. Just hang in there and avoid all of the negative self talk. Phrases like "I'll never quit" or "I'm a failure" or "Why aren't I strong enough to quit" will not help at all. Be aware what you are saying to yourself. Be aware of your inside voice. You'll be okay. All is well. Good luck to you Rebbie!

[sunflower55]

Rebbie,
Please read the Stages of Change Model post. You'll see that relapse is quite common, and an opportunity to learn.

As for the rage you are feeling, well, I went through a horrible time my first quit too. Perhaps you might want to talk to your doctor? Welbutrin is an antidepressant. Used under the trade name Zyban, it is also a smoke cessation aide. It may help those feelings. (Personally, I could only take 1/2 the dose; the full dose made me anxious, but, I'm very very sensitive to drugs.)

Another smoke cessation aide, that I'm using now, (and find more helpful), is Chantix. It blocks the nicotine receptors in the brain. It is *not* an anti depressant. I felt no desire to smoke with it at all. For me, it's a miracle drug, honestly!

Exercise and other behavioral changes will definately help your quit. Drink LOTS of water to help flush the toxins out of your body. Join in on the daily check in thread, to talk about your ups and downs. Checking in, making yourself accountable to someone -- anyone -- helps. And please read the other posts on this forum. There is a LOT of good, helpful information on this forum. The stages of grief post is one that *may* apply to you, considering the rage you mention.

I wish you the best, and know that we are here to support you and your quit!

Peace!

[VickiesPath]

Caution! I did successfully stop smoking using Chantix four years ago. BUT: And that's a BIG BUT: Chantix acts on dopamine in the brain. Most people do very well with it. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that receives the nicotine buzz. But, people who are taking medications for depression or bipolar illness must be very careful. It made me slightly manic, which turned out great because I wallpapered my mother's entire bathroom in three days!!! It did not unleash a full manic episode and I have known others who are not on psychoactive medications who said it made them feel funny so they didn't continue it. But, even with paying for it out of pocket (if you have no insurance) it is cheaper than cigarettes. You start taking it one week before quitting cigs and by that time, your craving for nicotine has started to decline already. I am giving you an A+ for effort right now for wanting to quit even if you smoke one less cigarette each day than you really want, you are a winner. Tomorrow make it two less. Keep at it, kid.

[RebbieDoll]

Just an update-I haven't smoked since July 16, a little over 2 weeks! The first 4 or so days were excruciating, but after that the anger subsided and my brain feels pretty normal now. Though the craving hasn't gone away. But still, a huge improvement. Thank you all for your support

[cisco23]

[quote=RebbieDoll;1078430] So this is my third attempt at quitting, and it's been harder every time. This time I've been trying patches but they make me sick if I leave them on for more than an hour. So I just have to deal with it without help from patches. But I am just so unbelievably irrationally furious at absolutely nothing. I'm just sitting in my room, seething with rage. I feel so insane and furious at life and everything. And I can't vent to my family because they would kill me if they knew I smoked. So UGH!!! Just needed to vent a little. Rebbie..I had rage, too! & I'm not a doctor; but I'm pretty sure you're NOT insane. I wanted to break something -or-smack someone SO badly....I just tried to keep reflecting on the 'interesting' changes smoking cessation can cause....I journaled lots of my feelings. & I had to suppress the urge to run after dark, too, I wanted to release the rage--but on poorly lit streets, my inner-grown-up realized that's not-so-safe.
Is there someone you can call to vent to? Perhaps write a letter to a tobacco company letting them know your feelings about them making cigarettes MORE addictive than they've ever been before? Hitting baseballs is good relief, too....Once our neurotransmitters in our brains balance out again, life will feel easier......Not sure how long that takes; but at 22 days, the rage for me is 90% gone...But I used to love people, & that has not returned yet---I'm easily annoyed & very cynical now......Hoping that'll subside. Be patient with yourself....Your Precious Powerful Self Can Win!!!!!