[Tourniquet]

Does anyone else link their self esteem and self image to their body image? For example, do you feel confident as a person when your body looks good/you're happy with your weight, but when you gain weight you feel insecure and don't like yourself as a person? I once heard Dr Phil describe the difference between self image and body image and he said that self image is how you view your inner self (personality, mind, soul, morals, goals, etc) and body image is how you view your physical self. People can have poor self image but confident body image and vice versa. For me, the two are linked. If I feel crap about my body, I feel crap about my entire being. But funnily enough, if I feel bad about my personality, I still feel good about my body if I am happy with my weight.

Does anyone else relate to this?

[SoupDragon]

Yes I can - the few times when I have lost a lot of weight, I have felt so much happier - but not sure if I was maybe feeling happier to begin with, which is why I was able to have the confidence / self esteem to loose the weight.

[venusss]

I need to look good most of the time. It takes me time to get myself ready in the morning to go out... I don't think it's a self-esteem issue, because i notice people treat me differnently when i am all made up... when I am sweatshirt/shades/ponytail, people are more likely to cut me in the line than when I all stylish and good looking.

people do judge you by your looks and i don't absolutely get that "be happy with however you look" thing. It's contraproductive. You don't need to be uberskinny and have face of vogue cover model... but if you can fix some things and be happier for it, why not? If you feel happy with certain haircolor, why not just dye your hair instead of working on some dubious self-acceptance?

and as a woman.... I can tell that men are easily fooled into thinking we are beautiful

[HalfSwede]

You won't have to think much about your inner self until your looks start to go, but it's probably better if you start to think about it before they do. In the long run, I do think your inner self is more important (he says now that his hair's pretty much gone), even if that sounds like a platitude to you now.

[music junkie]

i used to feel incredibly comfortable with how i look, but more & more, i feel like i'm developing some sort of body dysmorphic disorder. i hate the way i look more & more. i'm not even fat; i'm technically overweight, but no one would ever call me fat. everyone says i look fine. but i feel disgusting, & it has brought my self-esteem to an all-time low. it's getting to where i don't want to leave the house, because then i have to put "regular" clothes on, & people will see every flaw i have.

[Night*Blossum]

Ugh, I think I may suffer from body-image. I never really saw myself as pretty then when I do I see girls who are ten times prettier than me. :[ It's kinda disappointing. I know I have a boyfriend that thinks I'm beautiful and compliments me all the time for it but I still feel kinda empty. I think I need to find what makes me beautiful on the outside that people see but I've looked in the mirror plenty of times... I still can't find it... </3

[Indie'sOK]

Yes - I have a very negative body image. It all centers around my weight. Everything, each aspect of my entire freakin' life! seem to revolve around my weight. Add that to a shaky self-image, and you've got an even greater mess.

[okayone]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

Yes - I have a very negative body image. It all centers around my weight. Everything, each aspect of my entire freakin' life! seem to revolve around my weight. Add that to a shaky self-image, and you've got an even greater mess.

I too have a negative body image. As I've aged, my body weight has grown and I feel less confident and as though everyone sees only the fat on me. There was a time in my life when I didn't care about it but it really bothers me now... so hard to look in a mirror.

[so_punk_rock]

I like the person that I am (I think), but my body disgusts me. I'm hairy and not at the weight I would like to be. I think I'm too concerned about beauty and physical qualities. I compare myself alot to other girls which is insane, everyone is different. I just want to be happy with this body I'm in. I feel ugly and unworthy of love sometimes. I feel stupid for thinking this way. These are thoughts that I constantly try to ignore.

With me there is a definite link. I was raised (intentionally or not) to value appearance as the most important thing. I had the impression that nothing else matters if you don't look good. And I certainly did not look good. As a child, I had terribly bucked teeth until they were fixed, and I matured early which meant I was very different from my peers. I was wearing a size 34A bra to fourth grade, for example, and already had hair under my arms that I was not allowed to shave. As I continued to mature, I developed visible facial hair (I am a woman) and a unibrow, but I was not permitted to take care of these problems. On top of all this, my family was so poor that bathing was limited to conserve on hot water and soap, and clothes were out of style at best, rags at worst. And the most frustrating of all is that I am built to be larger than average, even at my healthiest weight, since my frame is stocky and muscular. No matter what, a St. Bernard is never going to be a sleek, slim Greyhound, because a St. Bernard isn't built that way. But, no matter how good I might look in other aspects (straightened teeth, long flowing healthy hair, good skin) my weight disqualified me from considering myself beautiful.

So, in a mindset that valued appearance above all else, I was made to believe that I looked like Quasimodo. There is no way I can separate that from my self-esteem, since any strengths I had (intelligence, for example) were dismissed and didn't count, so I was not allowed to feel good about myself for those things.