[sorrel]

I'm surrounded by people who make stigmatising comments about people with mental health problems. They're not directed at me, but it feels REALLY uncomfortable. I also have a mental health problem. And these people know.
It's a workplace issue, so I can't avoid it.
But I am getting close to 'losing it' as these comments are touching deep raw spots and adding to my feelings of alienation and low self esteem.
How can I best respond?

[likewater]

That sucks. What types of things are they saying? To say things in front of you , knowing you have an issue is really crummy. Pretend your best friend with the problem, what would you do if what people were saying were hurting your best friend? How would you respond?

[sorrel]

About there being "too many mad [people]", "everyone's crazy round here", "they're all nutters". I work in a customer service environment.

I'm not sure how I'd respond to a best friend with the same issue. I'm too entangled with a Protector self state that is all for controlling people and making them say more 'acceptable' things that are more compassionate to vulnerable people. [I have complex trauma difficulties due to my childhood plus.]

Does anyone else have any thoughts?

[sarek]

Originally Posted by sorrel

About there being "too many mad [people]", "everyone's crazy round here", "they're all nutters". I work in a customer service environment.

Do you feel those comments are really directed at people with illnesses? I have the feeling that this is what customer support and helpdesk types always say behind the callers' back when its just difficult customers they are referring to.

When someone shouts out something like 'he's crazy' they usually do not mean to refer to that person as actually being 'crazy' Its more of an ill conceived figure of daily speech.

I know its hurtful and its not the proper thing to say but please bear in mind that usually exclamations like this are not in any way meant to be taken personally, even if they seem to sound like it. Basically, the people saying these things just don't have clue what it is they're saying.

[missbelle]

People can be cruel and stupid. I think half of them don't always know what they say. If you would ask them if they really feel that way they would probably say no. When you get a group of people together..coworkers etc..they all feed off each other and its cool to say things against people whether it be about racial issues, disabilities, mental illness etc.

Don't take those comments personally. It may be just them mouthing off, relieving stress or whatever.

Thinking of you!!!

[unaluna]

Or you might become the expert in dealing with the "nutters" because you know how to listen, how not to push people's buttons, what they are REALLY upset about, and in general how better to deal with them, because you can stay in wise mind and get them into their wise mind (to use dbt terms) and not be captive to emotional minds as your less insightful and less experienced co-workers are. I smell a salary rise coming up for you!

[likewater]

Oh, they say things like that at my work too. I work in customer service. I never thought of myself as crazy. Are you sure they think that about you? We dont say nutters, maybe because we' re in the states. I never thought about it , but can be a hurtful term to be calling people. I' ve used the term to describe customers when what i actually meant was kooky, unreasonable, silly, or exasperating.

[sorrel]

Thanks all.

I dealt with an incident this afternoon, hopefully really sensitively. I could have done better, but I did my best at the time. It was between 2 customers. I am sort of the expert, yes. *she says quietly*

It is my hope that those I work with can indeed start choosing the words more sensitively. And yes, sometimes these things were said about people with these illnesses.

Sometimes, even if people are aware we have psychiatric issues, they don't classify US with "the nutters." They don't think twice about throwing words like "crazy" around in our presence because they don't consider us "crazy." Why? Because even with a diagnosed illness, we don't fit the stereotype of a "crazy person." The OP, for example, obviously has a job, can talk sense, etc., while people tend to believe a truly "crazy" person cannot.

I see the same thing as a plus-sized woman. Someone may make a remark against "those disgusting fatties," and if I say something about my own size, they'll tell me I may be big, but I'm not what they consider fat. What this means is, "You aren't lazy, stupid, smelly, ugly, sloppy, constantly stuffing your face, or other stereotypes I associate with being fat."

Another parallel, my husband considers homeless people "bums" and refers to shelters or slummy neighborhoods as "bumville," even knowing that when we met, I myself was living in subsidized housing, and before I got that apartment, I was homeless. He wouldn't think of me as a "bum," though, because to him a "bum" smells of alcohol and drugs, dresses in rags, would reject a job if offered one, would repay your generosity by stealing from you, and other stereotypes of homelessness.

[sorrel]

You're right.

I suppose I should be glad that my colleagues haven't seen me when I've 'lost it' outside work. Because then...