[LivyLove]

For the longest i can remember, and everyone whom i spoke to who ever knew me well told me that i have a low self esteem. And my respond has always been ya ya i know, that might be the case, and they would list the BUNCH of obvious things that i already have memorized about what makes me a great person and bla bla bla... but really, if i knew all along that this was really the problem and have reminded myself over and over of the 'GOOD QUALITIES' i have, WHY DO I STILL HAVE THIS PROBLEM?

You see, after all these years, and now being 27, married with a family of my own, and living what to many would call a 'normal life' i still seem to have the SAME PROBLEM. Unfortunately i keep comparing myself with my sister in law, and for some reason i feel lost for words when i am around her. Why? For God's sake why? ... Maybe a psychologist would know, but i am pretty sure there is a lot more to the problem than just this.... i am in the process of getting help, i can't seem to find a therapist that would take my insurance ... and i am still looking... when i was back in Canada, i had an outstanding therapist who i saw every three weeks and worked on some of the issues she was able to pick up and of course things i wanted to work on, but here... (Michigan)... I can't seem to find one....

Hopefully i can sort this whole jealousy or self esteem issue thing myself... REAL SOON before my thoughts and emotions ruin the goodness left in my life...

[armatthaei]

By contacting your insurance company they should be able to provide you with a list of therapists whom accept the insurance you use.

[shezbut]

((LivyLove))

I am sorry to hear that you're been struggling with super low self-esteem throughout your life. I have too, so I can really relate .

In my case, my self-esteem has caused a lot of problems for me personally, professionally, and romantically. My SE has been super low for all of my life, and I had also kind of grown accustomed to that reality many years ago. At the point when I assumed that's just the way life is & it didn't seem abnormal to me. Know what I mean? I hadn't ever felt positive SE, so how could I know??

I was in a hospital 4 years (or so) ago, for severe depression & we were talking in a group. One lady was an alcoholic/addict, yet she confidently claimed that she totally loved herself & went on to say that those who don't love themselves are completely unable to love other people in the world. As a married (at that time) mom, myself, I was NOT happy with her comment ~ especially when everyone in the group agreed with her! I was furious!

I can now see that I do love my daughters, and feel some emotions towards my ex-hub. But, I can understand that my SH gets in between myself and my girls at times. Those are times when I have to push myself hard to focus on the moment, to find the ambition to stay alive for my girls. I suppose that if my SH weren't so intense, I wouldn't be so eager to leave this life at times...despite the effects.

Hope that helps you understand the SH better. Gentle hugs to you!