[Zen888]

Hi Everyone

I didn't want to interupt Rapunzel's thread, so I will start this one.

I have constant OCD like thoughts that I tell myself: you are the scum of the earth, no one will ever want to marry you because of your horrible childhood, everyone is more accomplished in their lives than you are.........list goes on!

How do I start to love myself and treat myself with respect...when I don't feel any for myself?

[Rapunzel]

Have you thought about arguing with those thoughts? If you can recognize the difference between your own thoughts and OCD thoughts, then you can tell the invading thoughts that they are not yours and you don't believe them, and you want them to go away. After you make that a habit, those thoughts will not have so much power over you, and they will be less frequent or stop coming altogether.

Rap

I did a guided imagery with my t about this. The purpose was to become more aware and to become more objective to help prevent the negative thoughts and self-criticisms.

Maybe you could do that with your t?

ECHOES

[Perna]

I have hilarious arguments with the thoughts; sometimes agreeing (really makes them angry/baffled :-) but usually pointing out logic errors. Fortunately I've found negative thoughts are kind of like stupid criminals? http://www.dumbcriminals.com/ They don't "think" things through. YOU though, can.

"You are the scum of the earth" I'd counter with, "Don't you mean 'salt'?" ("good" Biblical reference, implies they aren't very original, stole the phrase and just stuck in the first name that came to their head) The "names" they call us are usually really primitive/grade school stuff, you ever notice? Come up with a "better" name and make them look stupid.

"No one will ever want to marry you because of your horrible childhood." I'd say in reply, "I'm not going to marry 'no one,' I'm going to marry 'some one' and it's a good thing I'm not twelve anymore, isn't it?" I mean, think about it, who marries/doesn't marry someone because of their childhood? That's worse than marrying someone because of hair color or something? Besides, "no one" usually didn't have a very good childhood either, look around here at how many of us there are and how popular such sites are on the Internet? Almost everyone feels bullied and pressured in childhood (anyone worth marrying -- I don't think you want to marry a bully in the first place? :-) and my husband's favorite word to use toward me is "cherish" -- someone who loves and wants to marry you will want to cherish you and make you feel good, partly because you had it so rough in childhood.

To "everyone is more accomplished in their lives than you are" I have but one thing to say :-) "Bully for them!" Your goal in life is to be "accomplished"? I just want to be the best Perna I can be. To heck with "everyone"!

[Rapunzel]

Perna, those are great! Want to come and live inside my head and argue with my thoughts?