Um. I don't know if this is a mental health issue or "I'm an incompetent human being" issue or even "I just want attention" issue.... Ha.
Yeah I feel like a jerk I have no idea how to discuss these things, sorry if I sound terrible....

Sometimes I find myself in these conversations- ok, hold up. The things I am talking about specifically aren't conversations. They are often embarrassments. I am cued by something in a conversation and introduce a long winded (evidently) esoteric notion to... whoever my audience is.

It is only at the point when no one responds to my excitement, or my "inquisitive prodding" for input... that I realize not everyone reads up on, say... the interictal personality syndrome, Geschwinds and how many artists with it tend to stick mainly to a range of tertiary colors (like Van Gogh for example).

So what happens is I often get a "what are you TALKING about, woman?", and feel extremely stupid for actually getting excited about something. And not just... Like oh that was silly.

I feel like an alien, and completely rejected.
Which is really a result of my own thought processes and my behaviors at this point, but it's starting to create an issue where all the effort I've done on things like joint attention is slowly starting to decay. Also, I feel disinclined to pursue things more and more. Because I just feel alienated by taking about brain stuff... or whatever. I don't know. Poor me the special little snowflake, right?

Anyway... anyone commiserate on this at all?
Am I just an idiot?

Should I go hide in my closet now?
Am I just being like, a complete jerk?
Possible...

[pegasus]

I like the way you write, made me smile.

No need to worry, you are inquisitive and intelligent, nothing wrong with that at all! Hugs

[Max Ra]

Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl

Um. I don't know if this is a mental health issue or "I'm an incompetent human being" issue or even "I just want attention" issue.... Ha.
Yeah I feel like a jerk I have no idea how to discuss these things, sorry if I sound terrible....

Sometimes I find myself in these conversations- ok, hold up. The things I am talking about specifically aren't conversations. They are often embarrassments. I am cued by something in a conversation and introduce a long winded (evidently) esoteric notion to... whoever my audience is.

It is only at the point when no one responds to my excitement, or my "inquisitive prodding" for input... that I realize not everyone reads up on, say... the interictal personality syndrome, Geschwinds and how many artists with it tend to stick mainly to a range of tertiary colors (like Van Gogh for example).

So what happens is I often get a "what are you TALKING about, woman?", and feel extremely stupid for actually getting excited about something. And not just... Like oh that was silly.

I feel like an alien, and completely rejected.
Which is really a result of my own thought processes and my behaviors at this point, but it's starting to create an issue where all the effort I've done on things like joint attention is slowly starting to decay. Also, I feel disinclined to pursue things more and more. Because I just feel alienated by taking about brain stuff... or whatever. I don't know. Poor me the special little snowflake, right?

Anyway... anyone commiserate on this at all?
Am I just an idiot?

Should I go hide in my closet now?
Am I just being like, a complete jerk?
Possible...

My Dear Josie,

I wanted to discuss 'Transactional Analysis' with someone here ! We all have somthing we want to discuss .. but which not everyone would fathom ! All that you are doing is trying to find people who 'might' understand or maybe even 'might' be interested in the same subject that you bring up to discuss. It can be anything from 'tea leaves' to 'rocket science' .. and that's perfectly fine ..... It's even brave on your part if you ask me ! Josie you have the permission to find like-minded people .

Regards,
Max .

[IndieVisible]

Happens to me too. I bring up a subject or topic I think would be really interesting to talk about and it's like over every one's head or perceived as nothing really of interest. Yet when some one else brings up some thing they feel is of interest others always engage with them and I'm thinking you have to be kidding me, these morons find this interesting?

No we are not the idiots! Yes we are aliens, we are not of this world and IMHO we should be thankful for that too!

[Hong Kong Fluey]

Hey Josie,

OK, first things first, have a hug (((((Josie)))))

Second, you are NOT a jerk, an idiot or anything like that and I can prove it too. If you were, then you wouldn't be here telling us here, would you? Jerks are jerks precisely because they don't know they are!

You are amazing, don't forget that
Lots of fluey love and hugs xx

[H3rmit]

Hi Josie - This morning I'm reading up on interpersonal skills in preparing for a job interview tomorrow. Something I read is relevant to what you're saying. Leaving space in what you're saying is a communication skill and an interpersonal skill. It gives other people a chance to think or say something. Seems to me if you're introducing something obscure or unusual, you could introduce it in a phrase or one sentence, even if that is a question like "Have you heard of x?" "I was just learning about x" and that gives other people a chance to say, "Oh, what is that" etc. Or you might find out they are not inquisitive at the moment and there's no point going on.

So - silences, pauses, chunking your thoughts into bite-size pieces to gauge interest. Possibly a solution to this problem you're having.

Oh, and you are judging yourself harshly because you feel embarrassed. I do that, too, but it doesn't mean it's a good thing. Overall, it's not helpful.

[jan16th]

You are NOT an idiot and in fact quite the opposite. I read people's general intelligence can be "measured" by what they talk about most. People on the low end tend to talk about other people. Average people generally talk about people and/or events. The extraordinary person likes to talk about IDEAS. You seem to be an idea person, and may need to curb your enthusiasm with some people because they are just not on the same vibe as you are. They typically end the conversation or say something to the effect that you are stupid or "off" to protect their ignorance. I write from practical experience and suggest cultivating the knack for listening to others to determine their "level" before engaging in too much intellectual stuff. Remember, you are the intelligent one. Don't let others general ignorance, bring you down . Okay?

[A Red Panda]

You're totally not an idiot!

You just happen to spend your time with people who maybe don't share your interests. That art bit of conversation? That'd be excellent info to share and talk about with someone who's interested in art and art history! But maybe not interesting or understood by someone who would never be caught dead in an Art Gallery.

I get really excited by silly sorts of things too - and yeah, sometimes people around me reaaalllly don't get it. I tend to inform them that it's ok if THEY don't get it, because I know it's awesome and they're totally missing out If they show some interest in the fact that I'm excited, then I'll try to explain it to them.

Nothing at all to feel like an idiot about You're just passionate!

[avlady]

Yes, maybe they aren't on the same vibe level as you, you're not an idiot, i think you are just inspired, they're an a different wavelength. Some people i think just don't understand enough about a subject and tend to stay away from responces for fear of being called stupid and put on the spot.

[Webgoji]

You're not alone Josie. I get really excited about archetypal character function, story mind, grand argument stories and multi-act narratives ... and only get blank stares when I mention them.

It can be tough to find like-minded people to discuss certain topics (as you've mentioned). It doesn't mean you're an idiot or jerk, just that you enjoy something that your present company doesn't. It does mean you can tend to feel a little lonely.

I'm a member of several writing groups and online communities and don't even participate in any of them because I enjoy talking about things like I mentioned above and still only get blank stares (although one person did have enough knowledge to recognize I use Dramatica Theory in my writing). I can help them in their brain-storming and ideas, but get no return.

So long story short and free of archetypal characters, don't tell yourself you're an idiot or jerk because you understand some concepts that your company does not. If you can, find some like-minded people to talk with, that would be great; maybe an art guild or something in the area?