[kittyfaye]

I have struggled with self-esteem issues ever since I can remember. I used to think I was fat when I was a kid when I really wasn't. A few years ago when I was with my ex- boyfriend, my mother asked me while giving me a lecture about how he sucked, "What's with the weight gain?" I felt so horrible about myself after that, and since then I've though I was fat and I hate my body. My now boyfriend says I'm not fat but I think I am. I can't wear tight clothing or I feel disgusting. I wear big baggy jackets and I have like one pair of pants that fit me right now only because I got them from Goodwill. I don't want to buy anymore clothing because I want to fit back into my old clothes. My self-esteem isn't really limited to just me feeling fat, but this is my main concern. I really just hate the way I look right now. In highschool I was much thinner and wore a size 4 or 6 pants, now I wear like a 10 or bigger. This junk has really gotten me down lately, and my mother isn't helping matters. She says she doesn't know why my self-esteem is so low and I don't bother to tell her anything. Nobody understands me anyway.

[Little Lulu]

Someone at PsychCentral posted this link about self-compassion and I found it very helpful. Just thought I would pass it on to you. (((Hugs)))

[hamster-bamster]

If you try to lose weight, you will first succeed, but then in the longer term regain and even gain more. 10 and 12 are perfect sizes for a woman. Pack your size 4/6 clothes for Goodwill (they will soon stop being trendy anyway) and go shopping for clothes with your boyfriend. Listen to him and not your mom.

[Fuzzybear]

[hamster-bamster]

Sometimes it helps to be accountable. I am going to post pictures of my clean-er apartment on the bipolar forum where my friends knew me as a housekeeping disaster, so I will be reporting my progress to them. If you like this type of accountability, why don't you have your bf take pictures of you in your new clothes, and you can then attach them to this thread. If you are concerned about risks, you can use photoshop to blur your facial features or simply crop the picture so that your face is not on it. We would love to share your joy.

[-jimi-]

Many mothers use weight as a weapon against their daughters. My friends mom's do. They feel entitled to hurt their kids and often as a punishment for the kid "ignoring" the mom by simply having their own life. The mom wants to hurt them so they will come running back. Both my friend's mothers are like this. The moms know weight is a sore thing of women of today so they put their thumb down right there... "I see you gained weight...." or "Why are you so fat now?" (And neither are fat per se.) Total sigh. I think it's a mom thing.

[kittyfaye]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Sometimes it helps to be accountable. I am going to post pictures of my clean-er apartment on the bipolar forum where my friends knew me as a housekeeping disaster, so I will be reporting my progress to them. If you like this type of accountability, why don't you have your bf take pictures of you in your new clothes, and you can then attach them to this thread. If you are concerned about risks, you can use photoshop to blur your facial features or simply crop the picture so that your face is not on it. We would love to share your joy.

That actually sounds like a good idea. Thank you.