[dilemma-girl]

First off: what can I do - I can/am

1. sing
2. dance
3. give speeches
4. read well to a crowd
5. write well
6. good at academics
7. good at artistic stuffs - like painting, sketching, etc
8. good at teaching
9. good with adults and kids alike

- to list some things I can think of myself.
But what pulls down my self-worth - my flirty attitude (which I did for fun without hurting anyone) and that I "lost" my virginity(along with it I lost everything apparently) to my ex.
Now I am called a "b**ch", "pros*****e", "dirty person", "worst girl", "not even worthy to be called a girl", etc.
By whom - no one other than the person I love a hell lot.
Really feeling so damn low. I am crying publicly every time he shouts at me for this, and he yells more that I've no self-esteem. He asks me what kind of a girl I am to cry in public. But I can't. I can't bear being called all that. I NEVER cheated on him. I NEVER did anything to him - he admits it. But he keeps yelling - everyday - more so when we are apart and cannot meet because of work stuff.
I am breaking. I hate myself for my previous relationships.
I feel like I am nothing.

[kaliope]

everybody has relationships that dont work out. these become learning experiences, dont let your ex take your self esteem away from you. his opinion of you should not matter. move on. you know one angry persons opinion does not make you who you are. dont let him have all this power over you. you gave him the gift of you and now he is abusing it. dont allow this any longer. pay attention to your good list. that is who you are. let it define you. take care.

[dilemma-girl]

I just wish that this pain will end. I can't bear that he says that all say I am bad.
I am unable to trust anyone.