[KaceFace]

I literally hate everything about myself. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I act, I hate my attitude, I hate everything. And the worst part is I don't really want to do anything about it. I'm reading all these articles about how to have better self esteem but for some reason I don't want to take the advice. I have no motivation to fix anything at all. I'm not happy with how I am but I don't want to do anything about it. I'm too lazy (another thing I hate about myself) to do anything about it. So in reality I'm just a lazy, whiner who really doesn't have a right to complain.

[bluekoi]

Kacie, Have you been to see a therapist?

Hello KaceFace: Yes, I get this. I sort-of feel the same way. The first time I saw my grizzly old mug on YouTube, I thought I would croak... I probably should have croaked... because I look like an old bullfrog!!! And I too am lazy & I often feel I really have no right to be whining. But it's all due to depression, you know.

This is what depression does to us. And it doesn't matter whether we think we have a right to whine or not. Whether or not we have the "right to whine", suggests that depression is voluntary... that we can choose whether or not to have it. We cannot. Depression is a condition of the brain. We cannot choose whether or not to have depression any more than we can choose whether or not to have a heart problem or any other physical condition. Depression is simply another type of condition that requires treatment. I do hope you are receiving treatment for your condition.

[KaceFace]

I have never been to a therapist but the thing is I don't think I have depression. I mean sure I get depressed, sometimes twice or 3 times a week but I've read and researched the symptoms and diagnostic criteria but I don't think I meet it. I know I'm not a doctor and I can't self diagnose or whatever but I don't know. It just doesn't make much sense.

[bluekoi]

Kacie, a therapist can be helpful for many reasons, not just for depression.

[will get there]

have you tried meditation, Deepak Chopra has many on you tube for healing, I do them every day and I know I also have very low self esteem they help me to stop crucifying myself with judgement

[BeingSomeoneElse]

kaceface. I feel the same way almost all the time. I go to bed upset about who I'm and vow to change over the next day.... to suddenly transform into a productive, useful member of society. but instead I continue to isolate myself sparing others from me.

I know how much that sucks!!

[KaceFace]

No I haven't tried meditation but I'll give it a try.

[Louesa2005]

KaceFace,
I am going through the exact same thing right now. I have such a difficult time finding anything positive about myself. I sit at home constantly beating myself up, but never do anything to fix the problems. It is a horrible loop to be trapped in!
I'm not sure what causes the constant negative thoughts, but seeing a therapist is very beneficial. Just talking to someone about your issues is good. You will be surprised how good it feels to share these issues with someone who is not judging.
I have tried to self-diagnose myself, which is dangerous. I have found that the research has just caused me to obsess about the issues more.
Do think about setting up an appointment with someone. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is thought to be very helpful. It teaches people to rewrite their negative thought patterns and understand what is really causing some of the problems.

Good luck with everything!!

[Reddwarf6]

Hello KaceFace, you are my absolute 100% very first person here who I am replying to.

I can't offer any advice that is better than the really excellent things said above, but I submit to you this; you feel this way, regardless of whether it's right or wrong, so hell yes, you have a right to complain. If you had broken your foot you'd be expected to cry, so if your feeling are hurt, it's perfectly reasonable to voice your anguish.

I don't know how to fix the self-hate; that's why I came here. I will say this, just to give you something to get a little perspective; despite how you think and despite what you believe your motivations are, look at the actual physical acts you do in your life. Did you hold a door for someone? Did you feel sympathy for someone who is hurt? Did you do a good job at work or school? In essence, did you do anything at all that others received in a positive way?

If you did, you did something worthy. That means your existence is a positive influence on life. In know, when I do something positive, I get all in my head and say I just did that to look good or to get praise, but that's the negative feedback I give myself and I'll bet a dollar you do it too. Just imagine this, though; kicking the dark S.O.B. in the goolies by remembering that no matter what motivation you thought you had, you STILL did a positive thing, so nyah! You were a good influence despite your self-hate.

I really hope things turn around for you, Kace. Us "haytas" got to stick together.