[glok]

“I am a dumb piece of meat
and I rot everyday
my flesh gives a rotting smell
and people say it's the smell of life
and they come to me
and watch me rot
and get happy and upset and annoyed and disgusted and maybe sometimes feel
compassion
but they don't realize they are rotting too.”
― Daul Kim

Many do not like themselves. There are a lot of hypotheses why that is so. These two articles may enlighten:

A Discussion of Self Hatred
When You Don't Like Yourself | Psychology Today

In the first article, ALLAN SCHWARTZ, PH.D., references the work of Theodore Isaac Rubin, MD and Psychoanalyst, who in turn " ... borrows from a great psychoanalyst of the mid twentieth century, Karen Horney. Rubin:

Dr. Rubin reduces this formula down to two selves, the Actual Self and the Real Self.

Actual Self: Who we are with all of our talents, limitations and illnesses, both physical and psychological.

Real Self: The illusions we believe in about who we should be, in terms of being wealthy, powerful, lovable, independent, etc.

To the extent that we hold onto illusions about our Real Self is the extent to which we reject our Actual Self and feel self hate.

We must accept "... who we are instead of wishing to be something or someone else ..." leading to compassion. "[To] be compassionate to others, we must learn to be compassionate to ourselves." Compassion for self and others means we must end self-hatred.

In the second article, Alex Lickerman, M.D., concludes:

Treating others well, it turns out, is the fastest path to a healthy self-esteem. If you dislike yourself, stop focusing on your negative qualities. We all have negative qualities. There's nothing special about your negativity, I promise you. Focus instead on caring for others. Because the more you care about others, I guarantee the more in turn you'll be able to care about yourself.

The key is to accept ourselves and give to others. We must do the work.

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different. ~Stacey Charter

[atomicc]

That last quote is so true, and sometimes so hard for us to accomplish. I have problems with giving others the power over my self worth.
Thanks for this, glok!

[glok]

I came upon another article with another perspective: On Hating Yourself Less | World of Psychology

The author speaks of the work of Anneli Rufus. Rufus reminds us:

Low self-esteem does not enlighten us. Self-loathing is not holy. But, all else aside, low self-esteem makes us contemplative and introspective. Our perfectionism makes us diligent. We celebrate small pleasures — albeit because we believe ourselves unworthy of big ones. We try hard. We aim to please. Low self-esteem makes some of us creative — as we seek meaning in pain. Low self-esteem makes some of us respectful — because we assume everyone is better than us. Low self-esteem makes some of us hilarious — because self-deprecating humor is humor indeed. Low self-esteem makes some of us good listeners — because we do not want to listen to ourselves. Low self-esteem makes some of us empathetic — because we have suffered, so we know….We who hate ourselves are not saints. And yet self-loathing in spite of itself — has given us gifts that we get to keep.

I must say I have not thought of facets of my self-deprecation as gifts.

[Fuzzybear]

[LifeIsCruel]

I loathe myself.

I read the two articles...the one was complete BS!

Okay...I have thin hair and cannot build muscles...but "I will feel like a hero if I help others????" Yeah right!

Do not get me wrong, I DO help others when needed, gladly...but at the end (and the beginning) of the day....MY issues...my issues are still here...my self esteem is still non-existent.

[offthegrid]

It's amazing how much harder we are on ourselves than we're on others. It seems like (at least for me) I developed negative self-awareness by looking at myself from the eyes of others…and usually they pointed out were I was wrong but they rarely told me ways that I was good. So it just seems like if I'm falling short in anyway, that's just how I am (disobedient, not smart enough, ugly, too this or too that..) BUT YET positives are either attributed to other people, it wasn't really that hard anyway, or it's something I "should" be doing and therefore shouldn't be celebrated.

It's amazing how we take these awful things with us and let it fester :/

[Sinking Feeling]

I go to opposite extremes, I hate myself, I love myself. I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, I'm not worthy to breath the air. I should be the leader of the world, I should just die.

[Fuzzybear]