[melissac309]

When I think about having good self esteem it just doesn't seem like I would be myself. I don't know if it's because I just feel comfortable having a low image of myself? I actually don't remember ever having self confidence before... Even when I was really young. I always viewed myself negatively. I know none of this is a good thing... But I was just wondering if anyone was the same way? And how do you actually get yourself to change your self esteem if you don't even really want to?

[jelly-bean]

I think you will have to want to raise your self-esteem in order to be successful doing it. It's very sad that you are satisfied with a low opinion of yourself. Everyone should do whatever they can to improve themselves. The opinion you have of yourself is the same one you are projecting out to others when they meet and form an opinion of you. It will not help you get or keep a good job or a great relationship. I suggest you try some counseling in order to help you feel better about yourself. You deserve to love the person you are and can be.

[CANDC]

Melissa glad you are returning to Psych Central (PC) . Sorry to hear you see yourself with low self esteem.

You wrote: "I just feel comfortable having a low image of myself?" And that is the reason everyone has trouble changing, it is not the easy thing to do. It is outside your comfort zone. It is easier to just diss yourself and think bad thoughts rather than do things that build self esteem.

There are hundred of things you could do to build better self esteem: here are a few. You know the ones that work for you.
clean up my room
eat good food
shower often
dress in clean clothes
do work outside in the yard
help a neighbor
volunteer for a food pantry
go to a religious organization
work at a job
do something you always dreamed of like writing or drawing or music
make a list of the 10 top things you want to do in life.

If you go through this and make your own to do list, already you are closer to higher self esteem. Keep in touch with PC - let us know how you are.

[melissac309]

Thank you everyone. I know it's definitely not a good thing. It's not necessarily that I like having bad self esteem. I'm just comfortable with it and I guess it's difficult for me to see myself having a good image of myself. I'm pretty good at faking it in front of most people actually. And that list is great. Thank you. I'll try some of those and make my own as well. Thanks!

[inopes]

I have low self esteem but I am usually OK with it until I am around my mother, then it all just amplifies. I am sorry I dont have any answers for you but can you identify any person or situation that makes you feel particularly bad?

[Webgoji]

In answer to the OP, I guess you could say I'm comfortable with my low self-esteem. It's been so long since I was confident in myself and felt good about myself that I don't know anything else or what it would be like. Like having a perpetual headache for years and years; you don't even know you're sick. I'm talking easily 35 years. The first time I gave away my power ... I was maybe six or seven years old. That event just started the ball rolling and my self-esteem was never high.

I do all the things that people talk about to increase self-esteem, but they don't make me feel better about myself. I seriously don't know the answer to better self-esteem. It seems like I have to hide anything I do or accomplish from the world because it will get crushed.

One thing I am trying is completely changing how I write. No more listening to the experts on how to become a good writer, I'm actually going to do it backwards. That way there's nobody in my way any more.

[JadeAmethyst]

I guess self-esteem and confidence are hard for me to put into practice. My feeling better inside my own skin is pleasant though.
Good post, thanks.
Jade

[anothercliché]

I feel as though I can empathize, that just striving for good self esteem would just be a continuous lie you tell yourself, never really believing that it was true. I feel the same way a lot of the time, though of course I'd prefer it if that were not so. I hope you're able to change this outlook, as others have said it's deteimental. Best of luck.