[Zen888]

Today I kept on saying in my mind things like this: I hate myself, I am a terrible person, I am not as accomplished as my peers, I am worthless...etc.

How do I stop this?

[Flinty]

(((((((Pilatus))))))))
Negative talk......... I used to do the same.
I am not worthy, I don't deserve my boyfriend/friends, I am unattractive.

Instead of saying the negative, turn it into a positive....
I like myself, I am a good person & i am as accomplished as my peers, I am worthy!!!

It's the old tale of the more you say it, the more you believe it. This works with both negative & positive thoughts, so repeat the positives over & over....

I have been working on this for months with myself as I was deep in dpression, coz I could not see my own value!!
But I want to live my life!!! Not my depression & negativity living it for me!!!

Flinty
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

I haven't made much progress on turning the negative into positive, but what I have begun to pay attention to is why. Why am I calling myself stupid or saying I can't do something.

It usually comes down to fear. Fear of something new especially. Fear of taking the chance and failing. If I convince myself I'm not good enough, then I relieve the anxiety caused from the fear.

Plus if I fail, I won't be surprised. Then I can say, "See? I told you."

Then there's that critical voice I grew up with---yack-yack-yack. Speaking of my mother...I really need to call her.

[Rhapsody]

This helped ME.... with every negative thing you say about your self you must replace it with two positive things. Plus - I wore a rubber band on my wrist and I snapped it every time I stated a negative.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[desperado]

Pilatus, I can completely relate to you. I say the exact same things to myself & constantly judge & compare myself to my peers. It is a horrible trap.

I do try to replace the -ve self-talk w/ a +ve statement. I know it's a lie, but I do it anyway, b/c I hear that the more you say it, your brain will eventually accept it & believe it. However, I always fail here. The -ve thougts always prevail; they always outweigh the +ve's -- no matter how hard I try........it's so frustrating!

For how long & how often do you have to do this?

It's SOOOO hard...... ** SIGH **

[Wants2Fly]

Self work is work -- and it can take time to change the channels that years of negativity have cut through our brain. But it does work. Perhaps not as completely as I would have wished, but my life isn't over, and I can look back and see great changes that have given me greater self-acceptance and inner peace.

As I say -- not completely. I still have so much self-work remaining.

[Benjamin]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Pilatus said:
Today I kept on saying in my mind things like this: I hate myself, I am a terrible person, I am not as accomplished as my peers, I am worthless...etc.

How do I stop this?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I used to do the same thing. Daily affirmations didn't help me a bit. CBT didn't help me because it was too easy to validate my negative thoughts. The thing that did help was telling myself, "This is my life and I'm the star of my life. I'm not just playing a bit part in someone else's life. I'm not here to live up to someone else's expectations. What matters most is how I feel about myself."

It's helped build my self-esteem.

[SeptemberMorn]

I like myself, I am a good person

These are good! However, I would warn against comparing yourself to others. I would change it to

I am enough to myself.

It's the old tale of the more you say it, the more you believe it.

"You fake it till you make it."

[SeptemberMorn]

For how long & how often do you have to do this?

Like I responded to Flinty... "You fake it until you make it." You do it every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought and forget about wondering when you will get there. Just keep doing it and you'll catch more negative thoughts. If you replace them instantly with a positive one, one day you'll realize how far you've come.

Like Wants2Fly said, it's an ongoing work and you don't "get there" till the end. I'm willing to bet that I'm older than her and I'm still not "there" yet, either.

[UmightKnowMe]

My T tells me that we should not think about 'how do we STOP doing something'? but instead think about 'how do we START doing this INSTEAD?' Nature abhors a vacuum and it does no good to just take something away and not replace it with something else or what you stopped will return to fill the void. How can you fill that void? What works and makes sense to you?

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Pilatus )))))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

Good choices and ideas already given. Let me add my support. Counter each negative when you catch it. If you say I hate myself, say "No I don't hate myself, but sometimes I do things I hate." That might work instead of a more positive, "I like myself."

You can check out Dr Clay's book, via the self help forum. He has stuff on how to do this.

I agree that even though telling yourself the truth (the positive) might feel like telling a lie, but keep at it, it does reach the brain and changes your thinking in the long run

[Irine]

i agree with all what was posted.
especially the self work thing.
i can relate to what you are talking about as well.

it seems to me you don`t have much belief in yourself do you? we really tend to be judgmental and hard on on ourselves.

what we all have to remember is the basic fact that WE CREATE IT!
you create those negative words and it comes from subcontious choice! you have to believe you have the power to choose otherwise.

they are nothing more than your won thoughts. made by YOU. (against yourself)
so...if you remember that
IT`S ALL IN YOUR HEAD. IT`S COMMING FROM YOU-
it may become easier to control it. it`s in your hands to turn it into somehting less harmful like sky said
the negattive words are`nt comeing from no where.

[PalPaddy]

I have been there and been in the rut for a long time.

I learnt over time how to cope with this as I started to understand the Law Of Attraction and got touched with The SECRET. Things begin to change as I started to embrace the essence.

No it was not overnight results but I noticed the change as my thoughts of abundance (a sample of it touched in the freereport below).

I now live a richer life. I hope my experience would assist you.

Paddy
http://www.prosperitysecretofage.com...freereport.pdf

[Perna]

I get offended and argumentative with my negative self-talker. That and putting up obvious reasons why it's wrong and making fun of it. Make it give examples (or give your own of the opposite) or make fun of it for being so vague. "I am stupid" -- what is meant by that? You can't be stupid and wandering through school with your peers, they're not all stupid are they? "Challenge" your negative self-talker to be "smart"/intelligent and use bigger, more precise words. It will shut up! LOL

Hi Zen,
I do that a lot, too. It really sucks when you're your own worst enemy because the people you love and looked up to taught you how to become that to yourself so well.
When I am aware of that going on, I try to find the voice inside that protects and defends me and I bring her up to battle it out with the negative and mean voice. She's pretty strong and she usually kicks the meanie voice's butt and it goes away. You need to get in touch with your inner kick the negative voice's butt voice.
((((((((((Zen)))))))))))

[Zen888]

(((((((((Pickle)))))))))))) Thank-you

My negative voice in my head scares me to the point that I am unable to "kick butt" .

for the firwst time in my life i have started - just started to think hey maybe i'm ok - now i read all these positivepostsi have more to work on - thankyou so much everyone. it all makes sense to me, specially the bit about it's us and our own thoughts that are creating the negatives.

you all rock!!!!!!