I think I'm insecure about the opposite sex. I worry / wonder if I'll always be alone. I have dated a bit from 2013-early 2016. Some of the guys were real jerks, and just wanted sex. Last year, I decided to be done with that for good. I'm so proud of myself. I want to meet a really special man. Not just anybody. I want the whole package! I'm on OkCupid, that free dating site. It kind of messes with my self esteem, because nobody awesome messages me. I get some "hi" and "hey" and I don't answer to that. I have gotten some really rude messages too during my time there. I have gotten what seem like attractive, intelligent men messaging me, but then when they find out I don't have a job, I wonder if they think I'm not worth it, or messed up, or don't have my life together. I'm on disability, and this is awkward to explain. They end up never messaging me again. Also, a lot of the good guys that I tend to like (like my neighbor and the guy at the health food store) I find out they're married or have a gf. I really do think I feel terrible about myself when I think about men, dating. I just feel very unattractive. I wonder if it has to do with my last ex. He made me feel really bad about myself and my body. We were friends for a while, afterwards, and I finally couldn't deal with it and dumped his un-friend-like ***.

I just had a thought: maybe I won't focus on dating right now. I know I'm worth it and worthy. I'm cute, intelligent, creative, and a really good person. It just seems like no one is really interested in me. Idk. I have heard that where I live, it's like that. But at the same time, I REALLY don't get out much. Which is something I'm working on.

[mindwrench]

I've been on okcupid a few times. I answered like 1500 of the questions, then I would delete them all because i felt exposed. Then I would answer them again and delete them all. I ended up closing my account on there because I felt worse about myself when I couldn't keep any connections going. I probably have no business messing with a dating site anyway at this point in my life.

Originally Posted by mindwrench

I've been on okcupid a few times. I answered like 1500 of the questions, then I would delete them all because i felt exposed. Then I would answer them again and delete them all. I ended up closing my account on there because I felt worse about myself when I couldn't keep any connections going. I probably have no business messing with a dating site anyway at this point in my life.

I think a lot of the questions they ask, are well, inappropriate. I feel way too private answering some of them.

starrysky, good for you for dumping him.

Thanks The Green Manalishi.

I think you're really brave putting yourself out there with the online dating thing, I'm not single but pretty sure I'd not be so brave if I was.

I think it's not easy finding that 'whole package', someone who is really compatible with you, you only have to look around to see that with the number of failed marriages and relationships. Even when you find someone special it's not always easy to make it work.

Do you have interests and passions which you pursue? Maybe joining up clubs/groups might be a way to meet someone like minded. Or maybe there is a dating site for your interest group, someone close to me met a guy through a newspaper they both read, there was a dating section - it meant they had similar political viewpoint/intelligence/educational level.

I think if guys are off-put by your life circumstances and challenges then it's good they've cleared off and saved you heartache at a later point. Not everyone would be, indeed some might face similar challenges themselves.

Hey Prefabsprout. I so appreciate your encouragement. Thank you for the advice, and kind words.