[Angel_Davis]

I was given the role by my parents that my sister was better than me. My dad wasn't around but as a baby, he teased me about being ugly.
My mom always preferred my sister. Some of my aunts, uncles and cousins always called my sister beautiful, but never me. I would always look for approval in the outside world because my family never gave it to me.. I still do this and it doesn't stop and I NEVER GET IT.. How can I get self-esteem? Please help... I will constantly try to get approval from others I can't see it stopping...is this OCD?

[Yzen]

I think it starts with giving yourself permission to to be YOU and not your sister. I am in a similar situation. My older brother has always been the person, according to my mother, that I should be striving to be. It hurts to feel you aren't accepted as you are, but looking for acceptance from others causes you to lose your freedom. You become trapped doing things just for acceptance.

The way out is to start accepting and appreciating yourself. Notice all the things you appreciate about yourself. Tell yourself that you will trust yourself and exercise the freedom to be who you are. You are beautiful and wonderful the way you are - don't let them take that away from you.

[Angel_Davis]

Honestly, I am myself and people say she's better. she takes pride in that we are nothing alike and that she "dresses better" than me.. I don't see it this way because I dress cute...it seems like i'm always saying "**** you" to the world because they don't accept me,, I don't want to live this way....I want peace and people to stop comparing us...if I am just as good but people don't see that, how should I feel? I am confused and there is a lot of self-doubt..
I feel like I do accept myself ,,,I'm not perfect but no one is...

[Yzen]

I am sorry you have to deal with those comparisons. It isn't fair and you deserve to be seen for how wonderful you are.