I've decided to tackle my low self-esteem big time! The last few days, I've been asking myself..

WHY do I put my dad, mum, and other people who haven't 'seen' me, understood me, or who've been downright abusive towards me, on such a high pedestal that their opinions, how they feel and what they say about me, what they've done or failed to do - I act as though they're GOD and like it's the Truth about me!

Well, it doesn't really even matter WHY I do this.. What matters is that I STOP. I need to start listening to and believing the people who DO love me, who are 'on my side' - there aren't many, but there's enough. And once I start to trust people in general more thanks to these few lovely friends I'm lucky enough to have, I can make many new friends

[Frankbtl]

Hi not.dead.yet

Sounds like a really big breakthrough there!!!
So massive kudos to you!!!!
Plus I'm sure your thread can help inspire others too, others who are carrying the weight of false messages from their abusers.

And people who are abusive.........well that view they have of the person is a reflection of their own problems, their own issues, things that have gone wrong in their own lives etc not a reflection of the actual person those things are coming out on.
And those who haven't "seen" you........well what do their opinions matter anyway?!

So absolutely believe in the people who do see you for what/who you truly are, and believe in yourself/take pride in yourself, hey?
With that maybe find some self-affirmation quotes that could resonate with you, and use them whenever............??

So again not.dead.yet..........massive kudos!!!!



Alison

[JustJace2u]

I'm working towards self-acceptance of myself and being ok with who I am, regardless of the 'good' and the 'bad' parts. Sounds like you've come a long way. Congrats.

[Marla500]

Thank you for sharing this not.dead.yet I am struggling with this too. You're doing a good job

[fishin fool]

I have been through this myself, it took far to many years to realize that family
members I worried so much about were actually very toxic to me.
It was hard but once I finally let go it removed a lot of stress from my life.
You seem to be on a good path, the best of luck to you.

Thank you so much everyone for replying, sharing your stories and for the encouragement! I wish you all the best on your journies as well

[Lolina]

Not dead yet, you are not lonely on this path, lots of us have this issue. I had to deal with horrible people at work and this awful experience pushed me to question myself and I have discovered that I had a few damage to repair. Getting rid of the toxic people around me is one of the best steps I took, some family members and as well a few "friends". I am feeling freer now. I know it would be one step at a time but I am on my way to repair the damage and learn what needs to. In my case loving myself, listening to my needs, boundaries, assertiveness and above all staying aware in every situations.