This is probably going to sound silly, like a toddler throwing her toys out of the pram.. :P But I'm really struggling with this issue and need to deal with it..

I REALLY loathe having to take care of myself. Going to bed early feels SO boring! I can't be bothered to cook for myself.. Exercise, God no!!

BUT.. Somehow I need to get myself to start doing all these things - because not doing them is making me ill, and that means I'm not able to do the things I really enjoy! I just don't know why it's so bloody hard.. I think I may have internalized my dad hating me having needs I felt I was a nuisance.. I really want to let go of that..!!!

[Sunflower123]

Do you have depression? Sometimes that impacts any motivation for caring for self.

Thank you so much for replying, Jennifer!

I do sometimes get depressed, but I think this goes even deeper than that - I feel it's in my very being to see myself as worthless.. There never was a time I thought I was OK - in fact, I've thought it would have been better for my parents had I never existed. It's so hard to turn these thoughts around when the two people who were supposed to love me more than anyone in the world didn't.. I now know it was about them and not me, but it's still so hard to start thinking that I'm actually a good person and deserve all the good things in life just like anyone else..

Just gotta keep working on it..