how

how do you have better self-esteem? I've had chronic depression and anxiety for a long time.

It's hard, and doesn't happen overnight. You have to build your self esteem step by step. The first step is willingness to treat yourself with respect, at least as well as you would anybody else. You can build self-efficacy and confidence and mastery by doing things or learning things that you can do well, and recognizing your abilities. You have to cheer for yourself and encourage yourself, not put yourself down like you might have been taught to do.

There is a lot more in this forum. Try reading through what is posted here already. I'm working through a free online self-confidence course, you might look at too:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=87388

For me I had to understand why I had low self worth. Mine was tied to the treatment that I received from my mom. I think that it is important to understand how you got that way because these early experiences continue to send you messages about your self worth until you dig them up and expose them. For example, my mom emotionally neglected me so this sends the message that if your mom ignores you, you must be worthless. With further inspection, however, my mom didn't ignore me because I was worthless but because she had a mental illness. So I could get rid of the thoughts that fed my low self worth. From there you can build your self-worth..........

I am going to check out that link and probably take that course. Thank you for that suggestion!

I can identify with your situation. My low self-worth is tied to the same exact thing. Lack of parental love. Emotional neglect. Mentally and physically ill mother.

Knowing that, it's still really hard to stop thinking, "I'm unlovable," or "I'm not good enough."

It's not enough for your conscious mind to understand these words. Your feeling self needs to understand this. You have to heal those wounded feelings from having to undergo these experiences.

I have had (and still struggle with) the same problem. A couple of years ago I looked at the infamous 12-step programs and revised it for myself. The hardest thing about going throught the steps is that most people who go through them have a group of people going through the same thing i.e. at a meeting. I haven't been able to find a lot of people in my situation. Since my original push I've slid back into my old ways. Would you be interested in a friend who has somewhat the same issue you have?

I've been going through the same thing. A couple of years ago I revised the infamous 12 steps to help me. For a time I was on top. The problem was that part of working through the steps is attending meetings or at least sharing your thoughts and problems with others. I couldn't do that. Now I'm almost back to where I was before going through them. Maybe together we can help each other figure out how to feel better about our selves.