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Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom
My heart warmed as my fingers traced the faces of my old friends. Friends that I had told my deepest secrets to. Friends that let me cry. Friends that I loved with all my heart.
I set about searching for those friends and, thanks to eBay, I own most of them again. They help remind me that I wasn't bad, it wasn't my fault and I really was just a little kid. They help remind me that I am capable of loving. With each old friend I bring home, I take one more step on the path to healing that lost little girl.
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thank you so much for sharing ((((orange)))). i especially love this bit that i've quote here, it really touches me. i have hung on to most of my childhood toys, but they are packed away neatly in my wardrobe somewhere. i think it is time i took them out and had another chat to them all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Christina86
You learn to parent yourself by, at least in my case - NOT LISTENING TO YOUR PARENTS. Especially if they're the primary "abusers" in your life or you come from a dysfunctional family like me. Helpful advice isn't exactly helpful if it's hurtful, ultimately.
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this is great advice, christina. thank you for sharing. it is a bit difficult, because i still live with my parents. but i am trying to put up boundaries, and i think they are starting to realise i'm not going to do everything they say. pdoc wanted me to move away from them at one stage, but i think he realises now that i wouldn't have coped. so he's working with me to get me to a place where i will be able to manage that. completing uni and getting a job are the first few steps on that path.
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But YOU care about you now. You cared enough to go get therapy. You cared enough to post this post. You cared enough to join PsychCentral for help. You cared enough about yourself to question what's happened to you in the past. YOU CARE ABOUT YOU. Even if it's not always apparent.
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this is really difficult for me to hear. i struggle with this on a regular basis. it's what makes me try to quit therapy with pdoc (i'm not worth his time), it's what makes me write posts here and delete them, it's what's made me join other support communities in the past and delete my account from there even though i had made many friends (and met up with them in real life). it is difficult for me to take control of my healing, because i'm just not sure if i'm worth it. it's easier when pdoc says "you're coming here or else...
" because then i have no choice. i am stuck in a place where i want to get better, but don't know if i'm allowed to.
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Do you own a pet? If you don't - I recommend it. Highly. I own three rats ... they honestly sometimes are the only reason I get up in the morning. They love me, in their own way. Even if that means grooming my eyebrows.
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haha, rats must be pretty cool. i am imagining you with awesome curled eyebrows right now. i've got two puppies (they're both at the end stages of life, but they're still my babies). you are right - they always give unconditional love.
thank you once again for your compassion and insight, christina.
actually - thank you to EVERYONE who has responded here. it helps to know that others struggle through this, and overcome it eventually (or still hold hope that they will). i am only just starting to look at the past "stuff", so it feels very overwhelming. it helps to hear from people who have been here before me.
May 18, 2009, 06:10 PM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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