question?

My mum has been physically hurting me as long as i can remember. I'm now 18 but do you think that by her doing this to me it has maybe created the problems that i have now like depression? anyone else experienced this from physical abuse?

Definitely, I was abused by both of my parents and have had problems with depression since I was 5 or 6. It can also cause other problems like eating disorder, panic/anxiety disorders, etc.

Vanessa

Your response to whatever has happened in your life has created who you are now. My stepmother's physical abuse made me VERY angry (was into fantasizing smashing my fist down her throat? :-) I'd go see a therapist and get some indication where you are and what you're feeling, what you need to learn/unlearn, etc.

Absolutely yes!!

Physical abuse and any abuse really can lead to depression, low self esteem and self worth, eating disorders, multiple things.

I agree that you should seek out a licensed therapist and start working some of these things out for yourself. What your mother did, and still does it sounds like, is wrong and this is NOT your fault.

This may be hard for you to hear, but if a parent abuses their child while they are under the age of 18 it is called child abuse, and when they abuse their child when they are over the age of 18 it is called assault and battery. I suggest, that if your mother abuses you again, do not retaliate, but call the police and file a report and put her violence on record. This sort of behavior is not okay, and until you stand up to her and let her know that it is no longer acceptable and you lay down some boundaries, she will most likely continue to mistreat you.

Is there someone you could stay with who won't hurt you?

Please be safe and take care!!

Well she mostly does it when she has had a drink . But i could swear she is bipolar and this is what brings on her mood swings although she refuses to get any help so there is nothing i can do right now.
My mum got abused when she was young so now she does it to us because its the only way she knows of how to deal with bad situations i guess.
thanks for your help

I said something similar to a therapist once and she told me that when a person has been drinking is when they are the most truthful. my mother used to tell me things like "you should have **** at birth like you were supposed to when she had been drinking." I told my therapist she only says things like that when she is drunk and that is when I was told that when someone is drunk their inhibitions are down and say exactly how they really feel. It is scary to think that they can really thank and do those things when they are drunk and really mean it. I agree with the others that you should get some counseling. you cannot change her but you can change you!!!

Vanessa

I do not agree that when someone is most truthful when drunk. I father was a drunk and he would say very hurtful things to everyone while smashed. I think everyone has a constant stream of both positive and negative thoughts running through their head. Just because at lot of these thoughts don't really reflect how we are really feeling. For some when they are drunk they lose the ability to choose which thought REALLY reflect how they are feeling. They also loose the abilty to correctly thought related or associate with one person from those related to another or themselves.

I know personally that one think my father taught me was to keep my mouth shut when I'm drunk. I AM NOT more "honest" when drunk.

For sure babe......as well as a host of other issues......you got some help to process this? My mother exacted violence on me all my life. She went to hit me when I was pregnant at 21.......thats when I "hit" back ......I divorced her for 10 years. Safer for both of us.

Get help and be safe.......no-one deserves that rubbish

It's hard to sort out. Because, parents generally do the best that they can do, and even abusive parents are like that for a reason. They might have been abused themselves (most abusers were victims of abuse even though it doesn't go the other way around), and might not have learned any better ways to parent, to discipline, to communicate strong feelings, etc. If they drink, there's a reason for it, like not knowing how to cope. If they say mean things (that's abuse too and hurts as much as physical abuse), they probably have some deep hurt inside somewhere that they never knew how to deal with. Bipolar disorder is possible when someone drinks a lot. Some people who are bipolar drink to self-medicate out of control emotions. It tends to mask the symptoms and often avoid being diagnosed and treated, but as you can see the side-effects are awful.

Whatever the reasons are, it doesn't change that you were hurt by someone you needed to love and cherish and protect you. How could that not have an effect on you? The reasons for their behavior don't change your need for healing and to make sense of it and to have your depression treated. Understanding can eventually make it more possible to move on and let go and make changes in your life in your own best interest. But that usually comes later.

ho4ld4en,
i have never really been physically abused but i have been sexually and emotionally abused by my brother. sometimes he would hit me and stuuf like that but it wasnt on a regular basis. and yes when you are abused it leads to a lot of problems like depression, self hatred and many more but it mostly changes your view on the world. maybe with therapy you can learn to deal with what happened. i dont really have much advice because im barely getting by myself but i do know that you cant do it alone. so im here if you need to talk and please stay safe.