[crystalrose]

My Therapist today talked about how abuse survivors particularly children will sometimes reenact parts of the abuse to try to process it.
What does everyone think about this?

[Elysium]

I think I could agree that some children do this. I did. When I was little, I would constantly play alone either in my room or in the backyard. I would make up scenes in my mind and act them out. I'd do this for hours.

I would say about 95% of these scenes contained physical violence and sexual violence. It bothers me to this day to think of a small child playing...pretending to be sexually assaulted.

For me, it was a stress release. I HAD to do it. It was almost a compulsion. It was the only outlet I had. If I didn't do it...I thought I would explode. Literally.

So it makes perfect sense to me.

[crystalrose]

thanks for the reply.
i feel guilt and confusion when I remember reenacting the abuse as a child. Therapist also said it is a way to get some control over what happened to you as a child. I have also tried to do sexual things to a partner that I had no control over when I was assualted.

[WePow]

(((( Crystalrose)))) (((Elysuim))) Yes, we also did that with imagining the scenes in various ways. Even though we didn't have a clue as to the feelings or emotions. We would take one thing that happened and then do it over and over in the mind and try to have many different outcomes. This is the way humans (and from what research is showing mice and dogs even) rehearse situations so they will be able to survive those. It is a part of the dreaming process as well.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((crystalrose))))

Thank you for this post. I did the same thing so many times. Ashamed to admit it, though as a child I knew nothing else but to do what had been done. Whether I was trying to process it or if it was something that became part of me, I am not sure.

As children when we are abused we do not understand what is happening nor do we understand that our bodies also react in ways that are normal for that action even though it is not normal or should not be as present as it is for someone who is abused in that sort of way.

We react to feeling things that we do not understand. When it is done enough times the child begins to live out that very thing many times. For me, I would re-enact and always using the perpetrator in my mind as who was doing it and repeating the very words used to me.

This is something that many times children will do and it will also follow them on throughout their life until they can evenually get help to be able to stop hurting themselves. For me, it is something that we feel we still deserve and even though it is shameful, something we have always felt we had to do.

But in that, always hearing the voice of those that did what they did. Never hearing any positive only words once used to make you feel responsible for what the abuser did in the guilt and pleasure of themselves. That way you always felt it was something that was what you did for them and that you wanted to do it.

This way it became the fault of the victim and not the truth of the abuse that was taking place. I do not know if I am making sense but I do know what you are saying and how it is that we feel we need to do this. Somehow it makes it seem true in our own heads and somehow relieves a pressure that never should have been there in the first place.

dps

[sharon123]

We also marry (the original) abuser and try to fix the past. I did that....married for 31 years to an abuser.

[anderson]

Yes many of our past relationship was a step above what we left behind. it was not until receantly that i found out that with the end of each relationship that waht we would accept was changing we were no longer willing to take that which we thought was good for us nor where we in a place of mind that we could fix another person. we now know that we can only fix our selves and hope that there is some one out there to help us be happy for once in our lifes.

[Princess Butterfly]

Thankyou so much for this topic.
And thankyou to dark purple secrets for the reply you wrote.

Thankyou so very much