[sharon123]

Gavin de Becker" wrote a book called, "The Gift of Fear." The meaning of that is (he says) "the only animals who don't immediately run when their gut tells them something is wrong/dangerous.......is humans."

I don't consider humans to be animals, but.....

He is dead on. An animal when it sense fear, runs. We as humans when we are abused.....ignore our gut and stay.

I stayed for 36 years...and then left. We need to educate our children on disrespectful, abusive people so they can see the red flags.....and run. 1 in 3 women are being abused and every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted. These are global statistics.

From one who (eventually(.....ran)

[sabby]

Good points made.

Unfortunately, humans are one of the few animals who can rationalize. Rationalization can be our downfall and very often is.

We can choose that which we want to believe and our instincts are turned off.

It can truly be an unfortunate part of being human. I learned to run as well......and it did take some time to get to that point.

Be well!

What happens to women is more than a tragedy. My childhood memories of what my Mother went through will never go away. More women must get into leadership positions. Too many men remain Neanderthals.

[amante]

Really good points, I am glad you found the strenght to get out after 36 years.

[seekingleadership]

Hi Byzzy, it looks like we meet again.

The subject is leadership and you are there.

Lets explore this notion more deeply.

-Seeking

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

What happens to women is more than a tragedy. My childhood memories of what my Mother went through will never go away. More women must get into leadership positions. Too many men remain Neanderthals.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by sharon123

Gavin de Becker" wrote a book called, "The Gift of Fear."

Saron, thanks for sharing your story, and posting about his book. I read this book a few years ago when I was struggling with leaving a marriage. I hate to say it was abusive, but my therapist says it was. I was afraid to leave. I was often afraid. I found this book and it helped me understand why I was afraid, and that that fear was telling me something, and not to ignore it. The book helped me recognize fear as a gift that can be helpful, save our lives, and that is definitely telling us something!

This quote from De Becker explains more (from the Amazon listing for the book):
http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavi...u-wl_mrai-recs

"Gavin de Becker: Like every creature on earth, we have an extraordinary defense resource: We don’t have the sharpest claws and strongest jaws--but we do have the biggest brains, and intuition is the most impressive process of these brains. It might be hard to accept its importance because intuition is often described as emotional, unreasonable, or inexplicable. Husbands chide their wives about "feminine intuition" and don’t take it seriously. If intuition is used by a woman to explain some choice she made or a concern she can’t let go of, men roll their eyes and write it off. We much prefer logic, the grounded, explainable, unemotional thought process that ends in a supportable conclusion. In fact, Americans worship logic, even when it’s wrong, and deny intuition, even when it’s right. Men, of course, have their own version of intuition, not so light and inconsequential, they tell themselves, as that feminine stuff. Theirs is more viscerally named a "gut feeling," but whatever name we use, it isn’t just a feeling. It is a process more extraordinary and ultimately more logical in the natural order than the most fantastic computer calculation. It is our most complex cognitive process and, at the same time, the simplest.

Intuition connects us to the natural world and to our nature. It carries us to predictions we will later marvel at. "Somehow I knew," we will say about the chance meeting we predicted, or about the unexpected phone call from a distant friend, or the unlikely turnaround in someone’s behavior, or about the violence we steered clear of, or, too often, the violence we elected not to steer clear of. The Gift of Fear offers strategies that help us recognize the signals of intuition--and helps us avoid denial, which is the enemy of safety. "

[sharon123]

Thank you, Sunrise: I am going to print this off.

Hugs N Love, Sharon