[jasie]

I go by jasie. I ran into a lot of bad luck in life. Ive been wanting
to post here for a couple weeks but i couldnt find the ability to do
it until now. when i was young abuse started all the kinds. i was
traficked or whatever mostly from 5 or so on. i ran away at 14 got
out of abuse , met a good friend but when he died i didnt have anybody
and im back into it again. I get so scared and hopeless sometimes. I know some day i'll find myself in a life free of abuse. but in these hard times its a means to survive. Yeah i still have all the emotional problems from all the years of pain i stuffed down. I am on a counseling list but might take up to a year before i get it . Ive been real bad lately . really hopeless and feeling that im outta hope and have nothing internally left to keep on fighting with. Its hard to explain how i feel i was never good at opening up or explaining.
anyhow thats a start i made a post in this room i hope i fit in here.
thats all for now thanks for listening.

[writingwithink]

Dear Jasie,

I hope that you will keep searching and never give up. In moments when you believe you have “nothing internally left to keep fighting with,” that’s when you should reach even deeper inside until you grab hold of something.

When you do get into counseling you must, unlike previously, find a way to talk about what’s happened to you. The way to opening up and eventually healing may be a lot closer than you believe.

Peace

[palmdalegirl]

Originally Posted by jasie

I go by jasie. I ran into a lot of bad luck in life. Ive been wanting
to post here for a couple weeks but i couldnt find the ability to do
it until now. when i was young abuse started all the kinds. i was
traficked or whatever mostly from 5 or so on. i ran away at 14 got
out of abuse , met a good friend but when he died i didnt have anybody
and im back into it again. I get so scared and hopeless sometimes. I know some day i'll find myself in a life free of abuse. but in these hard times its a means to survive. Yeah i still have all the emotional problems from all the years of pain i stuffed down. I am on a counseling list but might take up to a year before i get it . Ive been real bad lately . really hopeless and feeling that im outta hope and have nothing internally left to keep on fighting with. Its hard to explain how i feel i was never good at opening up or explaining.
anyhow thats a start i made a post in this room i hope i fit in here.
thats all for now thanks for listening.

Bad luck is so painful....and I share that with you. I have always felt like this world was not meant for me, and I reflect nothing good. I hope my venting gives you some comfort to know that you are not alone or helpless. I am here if you need a friend!

That we are not responsible for the misfortunes that have befallen us is something we must not forget. The extreme irony of having to revisit trauma to rid our souls of the toxic memories truly is a tragedy. But to have a better life, we must do what we must do.

[jasie]

you say how it feels so well..can tell your a writer the way you
make your words sound. Thanks for the post I am trying to hold onto nothing and hoping it will last these days. It helps to have a place to get some of this out.

[palmdalegirl]

Originally Posted by jasie

you say how it feels so well..can tell your a writer the way you
make your words sound. Thanks for the post I am trying to hold onto nothing and hoping it will last these days. It helps to have a place to get some of this out.

Keep holding on. These words here can become your rope of survival....so keep posting and reading here! Write me sometime.

[Typo]

Keep holding on Jasie,

Congrats to you for posting here, it is a good first step, I don't have many words today, just wanted to welcome you to PC and send you some hope, encourgement and support, keep posting Jasie

Many Peaceful thoughts, best wishes and blessings
Typo

How are you doing, jasie?

[Sannah]

Hi Jasie, I'm so glad that you have posted! Are there any local programs to help folks in your situation get out?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am glad you got some of it out Jasie.

I relate to those feelings of hopelessness and barely holding on...

You are not alone anymore here and you fit in just fine!

Billi

[jasie]

thanks for the acceptance here means a lot to me

[jasie]

been better got roughed up pretty bad just tired beyond tired ive read alot been to a chat or two but cant find the words or strength to say things lately thanks for asking though it was very kind of you .

[Sannah]

[WePow]

(((( Jasie ))))) I am so sorry that you have endured so much in life.
To be destroyed at that young of an age and used by adults.... that is just pathetic that some adults can be so cruel.

It is hard to remove yourself from abuse when that is all you know. I get that and have been there. For me, it took some planning and help from others. Getting my GED was the first step. From there, it was still years of battle, but we are finally out of the woods.

All I can do is say to keep working on educating yourself and trying to plan the future. I know jobs are not easy to get right now. Start with education as that is something others can not take from you.

No matter what though, don't give up on yourself. You have made it this far - you can make it.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am thinking of you today, Jasie.

Billi