When is it ok?

I am most definitely going to try, I will try anything to be heard. This time I have to be heard, im too tired of doing this alone. Thank you for your support. I love being able to talk and express myself here. Thank you for listening

You know, your the third person to recommend that Dave pelzer book. It must be pretty good.

Hi Shoez,

I'm so sorry the session went so badly. I have a response, but want to make sure to emphasize that this is just my opinion. . .

Do you think you might be making a mistake by remaining quiet in the sessions, when there is something important your t needs to know? If you don't want your t to get the wrong impression of your mom, you need to tell her the truth about what your mom says and does. (You could tell your t privately -- maybe by phone -- the things you are afraid to say in front of your mom, and then ask your t not to tell your mom what you said because you are afraid of her abusing you later.) Your t can't help you if you aren't able to tell her what's on your mind. Many of the things you said to yourself in your head are things that i think your t needs to know.

You are right peaches, I have to tell my T. I just stayed quiet during the session because I knew my mother was laying a trap. Only thing that has me scared of telling T is that she might do something drastic instead of just listening to what I have to say. But I completely agree with you

There is no excuse for your mother to EVER hit you or call you names! I think SHE needs professional help immediately. You need a good counselor to talk to about things things. My 3 y/o and 11 y/o have horrible tantrums. Even my 1 y/o has seen them and started doing it (he is actually cute though throwing a tantrum where the other two are pains) BUT I WOULD NEVER HIT THEM BECAUSE OF IT OR CALL THEM NAMES. I simply stay calm and ride out the storm. (Inside my head I am going nuts and pulling my hair out though
I am so sorry you are going through this right now and I wish I could help you further than just sharing my experience. Please speak to a professional about this BECAUSE YOU DESERVE BETTER!

sorry I just read the rest of the post... what a nightmare your in with your mom! You should for sure call your t and tell her whats really going on, just make sure she knows she can not confide what you say without your permission. Good luck!

I agree with peaches. Your anger level needs to exceed your fear level for all this to come out. Does she know about the physical abuse? What your t heard was that your mother would do anything to help you, deflects the causes of your abuse onto others (i.e. your father, bullies). This would be a big red flag for me if I was a therapist. The most telling thing was when your mom called you a monster. That was emotional abuse right there. Another way to get the true picture out there is to use technology. Even an audio recording of your mom really laying it on, and have t review it. Be brave. Hang in there.

So now all of your sessions are going to be together?

(((((Shoez)))))

I've only got a minute. But wanted to let you know that I care about you and worry about you.