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#1
Sep 07, 2013, 11:46 PM
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I apologize if this offends anyone, but I need to let this out.
I am worried that I was molested, but cannot remember. I remember about... maybe 7-10% of my childhood in fragments. I am 'frigid' when it comes to sexual relations and have major difficulty with relationships with guys (I've never been in a relationship and I am 19). I also have a huge problem when it comes to being touched even when it's just a platonic pat on the shoulder. The thought of fingering and oral sex on a woman completely shuts me down. I am diagnosed with clinical depression and have an anxiety disorder. My parents divorced when I was a toddler and I had visitation with my father, but cannot remember any of it. All of my life I have just felt wrong. I do remember bits of acting out non consensual sexual things when playing with my barbies and always knew more than I should have about sex since I was very sheltered. I just want someone's opinion please. |
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#2
Sep 08, 2013, 04:46 PM
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There really is no way we could know. Have you talked to a therapist? It sounds like that might be a good option for you.
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#3
Sep 08, 2013, 05:43 PM
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We can't tell you if you were molested but I personally believe these questions come from somewhere. I would definitely recommend therapy.
I am sorry you are tormented by these questions. I've been there and I can relate. |
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#4
Sep 08, 2013, 06:13 PM
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I behave much the same way that you do - I can't handle being touched unexpectedly, and I have trouble in relationships... if something is too one-sided (so oral and whatnot) where I'd feel like I was being watched? Can't. Just can't.
I wasn't molested as far as I know. I did, however, grow up in an environment where I was basically deprived of physical and emotional affection, so I suppose that is why I have SUCH problems with it. Do you go and talk to a T? As you're already diagnosed with depression and anxiety, it would be really beneficial to talk to someone about what you do and don't remember about your childhood.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#5
Sep 09, 2013, 12:21 AM
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I don't know, but I am literally in the exact same place you are and I am sorry.
__________________
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" -Camus since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world- cummings |
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