[Kathyanita]

I split.
Im six years old. Rusty M_______ is in his “high chair.” I’ve never seen a piece of furniture like this. It is designed I suppose, to allow babies to sit at diningroom tables, or kitchen tables and be at the right hight for making eye contact with the other diners. Maybe its for giving babies and small children some idea that they will be welcome to speak at meals once they aquire language.

He’s too big for this thing. He’s elevated like a prince on a wooden throne. He’s also angry and ugly as usual. But he is prince- the M______’s own. He won’t be hit. He won’t be instructed about the hopelessness of redeeming himself in God’s eyes. He won’t be sentanced by his parents ( who speak directly for God) to eternity in hell. It is not, aparently, too late for him.

So in his anger he looks for a rightious place to direct ungodly rage. He holds up his glass of milk and looks at me. At my head. One of the condemned anyway, I am at the table to scrape spaghettios as quickly as possible into my mouth, open to receive and positioned at the edge of the plate, my bottom teeth clattering against the rim.

Rusty’s glass of milk rains down on my head dripping down my bangs. Its pink from the blood I’m suddenly bleeding from above my right eye. The brow is open and there is a new reign opening in my mind too, announced by the pink wetness.

We will have to go to the emergency room Mrs. M______ will have to call my mother to meet us there. Everyone get in the station wagon now . . . every one except me. . . I will finish these spaghettios because above all- I’m hungry.

[Gemstone]

{{{{Nevada}}}}}

I'm sorry for your pain.

I hear you dear one!

Sometime physical pain is push in the background because it is not important to the eyes of the others or the child himself is not impotant so why would it be important to the child who is just trying to survive in a world where his presence is hardly tolerated.

I am sorry sweetie! (((((((((Nevada))))))))))))

Time0

[wisewoman]

I am so sorry, you captured a feeling, a moment in time in such a way that I feel as though I was there. The perspective of children is amazing.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((Nevada)))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry. You give the perspective of a young person very well. I am sorry those things happen. Take care. My heart goes out to you.

Nevada,
Some babysitters just suck--- I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Oh, I can relate--- I'm truly sorry for the injustice you had to endure.

It will always be beyond my comprehension how an adult can behave to one child- sometimes even no matter the relation/ or personality-- so mean and hurtful-- and yet turn to another and be that loving, nurturing being they should be to all.

--- Seems like those said adults have exhibited a kind of "split" also-- perhaps-- we as children, adjust accordingly?

I wish you so much inner peace and healing for your wonderful self. Thinking of you.

mandy

[Kathyanita]

thank you guys for all the hugs. . .
Mandy, Petunia. . . feel so much like we would be growing up next door to each other. . .

I would've been honored to be your little neighbor...

I would've given you then, as I give you now, all my spaghettios, lots of hugs and my friendship.

I would have been honored to grow up next to you. And Petunia too!!!!

mandy

[shadowdancer]

(((((((((((Nevada)))))))))))


shadow

[Overcastbutclearing]

(((Nevada)))
Keep getting it out!
Keep letting us be there for you.

[Gracey]

Nevada. . .for me it was Mac-N-Cheese. Now I can't stand the smell of it, but if it must be eaten, it must be eaten in the blue bowl. . .under the table.