Hi all,

This is my first time posting in this section ever. And I feel guilty for it because I'm not even sure if it could be classified as "abuse". All I know is, my sister treated my family like garbage. And this one event that happened has been really bothering me lately.

Ever since she started puberty, about 11, my sister got to be quite nasty to all of us. She'd pick fights with my brother and I, especially my brother, and she also started rebelling against my dad. Seeing guys, multiple sexual partners, drugs, booze, you name it. She'd totally disregard any of my dad's rules and just do what she felt like.

But the thing that's come back to bother me the most happened when I was 13, my brother was 11, and my sister was 16. She falsely accused my father of sexual assault. My brother and I were taken away from my dad for a few months while they looked into the charges. My sister was already living with somebody else. Everyone in the family knew my sister was lying, (she's a chronic liar) my dad would never do something like this, so we were just waiting for her to admit she was lying. But she didn't. The charges were just dropped because there was no proof.

Of course, my dad's reputation was ruined. We live in a small town, so everybody found out quickly. Everybody in town would give him dirty looks when he went to the mail, shopping, etc. It was awful. Months later, my sister FINALLY admitted she was lying. My dad forgave her eventually.

BUT...a few years later, she told her boyfriend, the SAME damn thing! And my sister had had a child by this time, the boyfriend told children's AID about it and my dad was forbidden to see his grandchild.

My father has decided not to have contact with her, and I respect that. My brother still has contact with her, I talk to her sometimes...but it's been a while. I just can't believe she'd create such awful lies, merely out of anger and wanting to get attention! I just want to grab her, shake her by the shoulders and ask her why she'd do this to her own father, and family?

What she did...was it abuse? Or was it just some cruel act for attention? I don't know what to call it. And I don't know if I can forgive her.

[Can't Stop Crying]

That is a really tough question. Not only do false allegations do a great amount of harm to the family, they also can make people doubt the true stories of SA. I am so sorry you experienced this. I wish I had some great words to give you....maybe someone wiser than me will weigh in on this. Whatever the correct term is, what she did is horrendous and cruel.

Forgot to add...post here as much as you need to...there is a lot of support!

[Omers]

For me, your story brings out just how messed up our child protective services system is. Being removed from your family like that is traumatic and lying about sexual abuse is very wrong. Personally I don't know the answer other than to say that it was a legitimately traumatizing experience.

Hello, Melissa. What happened with your sister is disturbing. Have you talked to your treatment team about this? You understandably are bothered by this and might benefit from talking it through with a professional.

I wish you the best.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

my sister .... Seeing guys, multiple sexual partners, drugs, booze, you name it.

So what caused this behavior in your sister?

[roses4me]

I believe that recently a law was passed in the US that making false abuse allegations is a criminal offence.
roses

Originally Posted by Sannah

So what caused this behavior in your sister?

I'm not positive, but my best guess would be because we had a somewhat strict upbringing. However, it wasn't that bad and definitely didn't give her the right to do the things she did.

[SoupDragon]

I guess it doesn't matter what it's called, it's the impact on everyone that is the important thing (wow for someone like me who has been searching for my own label, I am starting to sound like my T lol) - it sounds so horrible for all of you, your poor dad and also for you to be taken away - that must have been so traumatic and confusing. Your sister must be so angry about something to do that.