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#1
May 04, 2011, 07:14 PM
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In June we are going to have a family reunion, and to my horrific surprise my abuser is going to come down as well. I mean WTF!!! does he think that I have forgotten or forgave him for what he did to me!!? I hate him but at the same time I would feel really guilty if he were to get in trouble. I'm so confused!!!! I am beyond furious right now...I already bruised up my knuckles by punching the t.v stand. .. I'm scared that I won't be able to control my emotions when I see him and since no one knows about the abuse they won't understand. It's not like I can miss the reunion because to top it all off they are staying in our house... and still on top of that he is being paired up with me, since I'm the only male in the house ... I mean what type of ******** is that! My son sleeps in my bed because like I mentioned before, I'm very paranoid as to where he is and what’s going on. What I will do for that is that I am going to ask my sister to let him sleep in the room she's staying in since she has a little one too so that they can play and watch t.v together. I just can't trust myself to have him in the same room as my abuser, I'm afraid that I will freeze if something happens. I know that I am now more than capable of defending myself but I'm not sure of what my reaction will be if he tries something.... my biggest fear is that i will freeze and not do anything and allow him to do whatever. It's sickening to me but I often feel like the same vulnerable defenseless child when I get those type of memories so I won't do anything to defend myself. I wish I could runaway from everything right now....i really do.... i guess I'm done venting a bit ...
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Halen |
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#2
May 04, 2011, 07:17 PM
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oh (((Halen))). I'm sorry.
Is it possible for you to not go? - like literally just go elsewhere while the abuser is there for the reunion. I'm sorry you are so frustrated and struggling - what help do you have in real life for support = like who is on YOUR side?? 
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#3
May 05, 2011, 11:53 AM
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I'm not sure how old you son is but I would try talking to him aabout inappropriate touch. Tell him to scream if it happens and to tell you or your sister immediately. You could also tell your abuser about the instructions you have given to your son.
As for the situation itself, my heart goes out to you. roses |
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#4
May 05, 2011, 03:47 PM
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Sharing a room with your abuser! You don't have to do this.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#5
May 06, 2011, 05:10 PM
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I've been thinking about this
I think kids and adults have the right to be safe as a child you weren't safe cudos on keeping your son safe but you should keep yourself safe too you shouldn't be forced into being in the same room or house with this person unless you choose the time and place roses |
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#6
May 07, 2011, 03:27 AM
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Can you tell your abuser NOT to come? or at the very least make alternative plans on where they will be staying (ie, get a hotel room!)It's your home and you have every right to tell him that he is not welcome there!
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 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#7
May 07, 2011, 04:09 AM
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Quote:
I already thought it over, I'm going grow some balls and go see him before june....there is no way i'm letting that **** come near my son.... it's only a 9 hour drive from where i live.... don't know what all is going to happen but I am a father and my job is protect my son from scum like him... ever since i wrote silent cries i have been thinking alot about what my priorities are and about how defenseless my son is.. it was my first time letting emotions out like that and it felt great... if im lucky i'll go and knock his ****ing teeth out and finally let out all my anger on the person that deserves it, i mean what's he gonna do call the cops.... 
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Halen |
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#8
May 07, 2011, 04:19 AM
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I'm worried about the consequences of letting your anger out directly on him. If you feel confronting him verbally will help - try to do that instead. He might very well call the cops...think about your son, you certainly don't want assault charges!
Anger itself is not unhealthy, but you have to channel it in a healthy manner. I absolutely support confronting your abuser. Give yourself a minute and decide if violence is really the direction you want to take.....
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Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#9
May 07, 2011, 04:36 AM
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I guess i vent and scream in the car all the way over there..... maybe i'll be able to control myself when i finally do confront him...i already have assualt charges on me and i def. dn't want another one... I'll give this a go and will def. let you know how everything turns out.... I'm still nervous as hell but i know i have to do it...thanks ...and thanks too all that posted replies....
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Halen |
 Can't Stop Crying
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#10
May 08, 2011, 10:31 PM
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Quote:
you could consider taking someone with you firstly as a witness in case the cops do become involved but also so this abuser knows that it is no longer just the two of you who know roses |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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