abusive parents

oh my.. I haven't been here in a while..

The other day my friend who is a guy came like always for our weekly dinner/hangout since we used to work together and remained absolute best friends. So like i said, he came and picked me up infront of my house and apparently either my mom or dad spotted me getting into a car with a guy and about a half hour into dinner i get a raging phonecall from my mom. She started drilling me with questions about who he is and wasn't actually listening to my answers because she would cut me off just to repeat herself. She then asks me why i didn't ask my dad permission to leave the house (I'm 23!) and immediately hands the phone to my dad.. he then goes off into a tangent about why I'm alone with a male... he also wasn't listening to anything because that question was followed by 'Are you in a hotel room now? Is he your pimp? give me the adress where are you now?

I promptly hung up and my friend just looked at me with complete pity as he knows about the sexual abuse involving my two brothers that literally stopped at 18 and the obvious emotional/psychological abuse im still dealing with... That phone conversation was the easy part

When i finally got home at around 10:30.. my dad was sitting outside my front step waiting for me. He then went on a complete rampage interrogating me about the abortion i had 2 months ago(my mom snooped through my bag but swore she could not tell him). He then goes on to tell me about 10 times that I'm a prostitute(I was with one person for 4 years-first and only boyfriend) and that i'm loose. He then asks me 3 or 4 times how i can spread my legs from anyone and that I'm now 'worthless because i open my legs to anyone' and that i have a pimp pick me up and that every time i leave the house now, he will assume i'm have sex with my pimp (?)

This is one occasion out of the bi-weekly abuse i get from either mom or dad. My sister essentially turned her back on me because i truly don't believe she can handle the fact that my two brothers SA'd me. I don't understand my life anymore it just gets worse and worse

what should i do?

Also, I think he decided to confront me outside in plain view of my neighbours on purpose.. to embarrass me i suppose i don't know why else you'd have a conversation about your daughter's abortion procedure and throw in the word 'prostitute' and 'spread your legs' unless you wanted to truly degrade someone with the most amount of ears listening as possible.

Sometimes I think my mom really does get a kick out my mysery. She's trashed my room and kicked me out before after I stayed the night at my friends(her 23rd birthday) but the thing about her is that one day she couldn't care less if i stayed out all night, but the next she will be infuriated that i dared to do so. She ultimately begged me to move back, i found alot of my belongings/clothes she wanted in her drawer along with my Visa that had been mailed since my old card had expired. I cannot tell if she's bipolar or just genuinely a mean spirited human being.

If it helps your understanding of the situation, they are practicing Muslims.

I think you should get out of that house.
Your mother isn't protecting you and your father is screaming at you like that?
The religious practice makes it more understandable but it does not make it more acceptable.
If there is somewhere you can go to be safe and away from them, I would suggest you go there as soon as possible and start to heal from what you have been through.

Oh Big, safe, hugs sent your way!!!
I don't know what to tell you to do, but I agree that living there probably isnt the best. There isn't a friend or someone else you can live with?
Also, are you in therapy?? It can be really helpful to get over the abuse. It's hard work, but (or so I hear hehe) it is very worth it in the end.
Stay safe, and keep posting

I would if I could.. I worked and put myself through college so I wouldn't have to borrow money from the gov or my parents so I don't have much saved but I'm having a bit of trouble finding a job that can support rent and what not..it isn't very cheap to live in this city. I stayed at my friend's house the last time she trashed my room and stole my stuff but all my friends are either still in college or recent grads living at home so there's not much room and i feel like a burden which just gives me more anxiety than it's worth

One point I need to make is that I can't seem to find affordable therapy and to be completely honest my mother is generally the instigator by feeding my dad information while snooping through my stuff. She never confronts me herself, she just finds what's interesting and will sit with it until she has the desire to use it and get him to scream at me hence the totally unrelated information thrown at me all at once. She once found my birth control pills, stole the box and forced my dad to ask me what they are/used for.. instead of asking me herself like a dignified female (who is a nurse no less, what kind of a nurse has to ask what progesterone is for??)

She also won't help me get therapy because...muslim people don't need therapy just god.. and if somethings wrong in my head it's because I don't pray. I've hinted that my brother's did something wrong to me multiple times but she pretends to forget each conversation and blames me for the reason why my brother's don't speak to me as opposed to me not speaking to them.. they've both beaten me up to the point of seizures but they blamed the racing heart and muscle spasms that come with seizures on the fact that that I don't pray as well.. they didnt get that my brothers were trying to kill me on a regular basis

Ive been having a few flashbacks lately and from what I remember I was watching tv in my brother's room and i somehow got in his bed and the sheets were pulled over us.. then my dad randomly bursts through the door and freaks out and says we can't be in the same bed together and separates us (i had to move to my other brother's bed if i wanted to stay and watch tv)... I think he knows just as well as my mom does about what happened to me but judging by the prostitute and ***** comments the other night its safe to say he blames me too.

sometimes i think they believe i deserved the SA.. they're not unintelligent and that oblivious since my mom almost always finds what she's looking for. either one or both of them know but I think like my sister they genuinely don't give a rats ***

This. I don't know where you live but if you live in a city there is a place. It may not be where you'd choose if you had a choice but it's much better than where you're at. Go. ASAP.

You poor thing. I hope you can find a way to get away from your family and never see them again. Your parents are just as abusive as your brothers were, just in a different way. You are worth so much more than this. So much more. I send you safe hugs and good thoughts.

mistyeyed
Check and see if there are domestic violence shelters in your area.
Call a domestic violence hotline.
Talk to a counselor - you are being abused and someone will help you.
You shouldn't stay in that house. Nobody should be told that they deserve to be treated like that because they didn't pray.

Please get out of that house!!!!....

You are too good of a person to get treated that way. If you want to come down to the US I would be more than happy to hve you temporarily stay with me and my husband. I have been abuse by my parents, too and sexually abused by a friend of the family. I can somewhat relate to you and I myself had a hard time leaving the house. Please research and find the help. It's out there.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
You are a Survivor just like all of us on PC.

Thank for replying.. i know this is really twisted stuff and you;re all saying much of the same stuff most people say when they hear me speak about my family for 30 seconds. I'm working on getting a second job i suppose i have to get out of here i have no more excuses

Thank you for your support.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I don't really have anything to add - just wanted to let you know that I'm keeping you in my thoughts!

'ppreciate it

In these cultures boys do no wrong and girls do no good. No one does anything to protect the girls from the boys. Praying is supposed to fix but doesn't. I'm sorry that you have had to endure this. Good luck in getting out.