[BrokenNBeautiful]

Hello.

The dental pain was so awful this weekend that I had to stay home and in bed most of the time.

Andy stayed over during that time and we cuddled a whole lot.

he's so sweet and very very supportive of my situation. He was doing Reiki on my pain (energy channeling) It did not make it go away but it did feel good on it.

Anway, I was triggered again.

When I spend too much time in bed or at home, esp when I am with Andy, I lose reality a little, where I dissociate and once again the world seems to become an unsafe place. My social/agorphobia begins to act up again.

I am supposed to go and pick up a prescription at the pharmacy for pain pills and I feel so vulnerable. Andy left today for work and I just wanted to cling to him, while at the same time feeling repulsed by so much need.

Not to mention, he is also a survivor, abused by his sister and the things she did to him were similar to the things my aunt did to me. So we have similar s*x*al needs.

Anway, all that spinning thru my head and my agoraphobia starts again.

I feel like I am regressing. From pain (tooth) and from flashbacks and from sensitization resulting from too much time spent in my room.

Billi

[Purple Heart]

Hi Billi

You seem to have a lot of insight into your mind which is good! And you have a supportive partner! Can you afford to go to the dentist to get your tooth fixed? Do you see a therapist to help you work through stuff?

[Sannah]

I can understand how this situation would cause you to withdraw into your past pain. Can't wait until you can get that tooth fixed. Can you get out some soon?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Purple Heart

Hi Billi

You seem to have a lot of insight into your mind which is good! And you have a supportive partner! Can you afford to go to the dentist to get your tooth fixed? Do you see a therapist to help you work through stuff?

I cannot afford to see a therapist and the low income ones will not take me cause I don't qualify. I have a group on here called On Our Own, which addresses members who have difficulty like that and need just a place to talk.

I am going to the dentist Friday to start restorations. Thank goodness. She and I think it's sinus trouble that is causing so much pain.

I have to find a new physician for that---my doctor, whom I had just begun to see last summer began ovebooking, got swamped and started abusing his patients verbally, so I have stop seeing him. Also, his office is not ADA friendly---in fact, a parmedic tried to enter his practice today and could not get the stretcher thru! And th is man treats disabled and seniors!

G*d do I pick them!

Ugh.

thanks,

Billi