Today has been very bad for me emotionally, It is mothers day not sure if it is the same in usa and the rest of the world, Anyway because of my dads arrest ( I call him "the thing" now) Mum won't have any contact with us even though the police officer in charge has said it is ok for her to do so.

I sent her a card for mothers day and put a message inside saying that "I miss her and I do love her" I thought maybe she will call me and say thank you, but no nothing, It was my daughters birthday last week and she didn't send her a card, It is the first time ever she has done this, Why take it out on the kids? They have done NOTHING WRONG?

I miss her so much it hurts, I used to be close to her before all this abuse stuff came out, Why has she chose The thing over her kids and grandchildren? It don't make sense.

What will happen if and when she dies? I will feel guilty.

[Open Eyes]

Oh ((((((Buttercup))))))

I am so sorry, you are such a kind hearted person, and you sure don't deserve to have this difficult situation taking place.

You DID send her a card, so you tried. I don't understand how some people are the way they are either Buttercup. All you can do is be who you are and do your best to somehow find a way to accept you have done your best.

Yes, I hear you it can be very hard to understand people sometimes, harder when people are family and they act so strange.

(((((Hugs)))))
Open Eyes

[TerryL]

Hi Buttercup--I have heard that the spouse of a sexual abuser was often a victim of sexual abuse her/himself and thus has their own issues. or maybe your mum feels so guilty that she didn't protect you enough that it is too painful for her to face you all right now? I am sure she is going through much turmoil but I am sure she still loves you all very much. If you don't have a T perhaps contacting a sexual abuse counseling center might provide you with more insight? Wishing you all the best. ((((Hugs))))

[notz]

((((((((((Buttercup))))))))))))

[Sannah]

Hi Buttercup, your mum chose The Thing always. Why would she suddenly change now? The difference now might be that you are choosing yourself which you probably had to sacrifice previously just to have a relationship with your mum? You are making the healthy choice now.