Counting

I was working out this morning at the gym doing crunches. I did 100. As I was doing them on the exercise ball I had my hands behind my ears and counted to myself till I reached 100. When I was close to finishing the 100 crunches a thought popped into my head: as a child I used to count while putting my hands over my ears while hiding under the bed. I tried to ball myself up into something so small. So small no one could find me. I would count hoping that by the time I was done counting my raging dad wouldn't find me.

No need to respond to this post. I felt the need to put it out there. If I were struck by lightning today and died I would want that story to be told. Not that I cherish that memory/flashback but that so someone else knows and that energy isn't stuck with me.

I know you didn't ask for a response but I wanted to tell you that you are not alone and that I also used to count to alleviate my fears. As a child, I used to count to 10 whenever something painful was done to me and I used to tell myself that by the time I had reached 10, whatever was happening would have stopped. I would reach 10, and then start all over again, all in my head. As children we did what we had to to keep alive, not only physically but emotionally.

Thank you for having the courage to share this story; it helped me want to talk about mine with my therapist on my next session.

((mswinter)) Thank you for sharing and I too counted with the same thought in mind "whatever was happening would stop by the time I was done counting".

No worries about responding that's what PC is for and I to plan on discussing my 'memory' in therapy as well.

I think that counting is calming. This is why people with OCD count things. Counting is part of many strategies to get people to calm down, etc. Counting is part of yoga.

I counted too. And I still do, when I need to soothe myself.

That struck me. Not the counting , well that to, but the wanting a story told just so it want be with you forever. I'm like that alot. I just want to give it wo someone else. You Don't have to do anything with it. I just don't want to have it. Hope that doesn't sound to crazy.

We also counted. It helped us to not think of what was going on. To count until it was done and things were in the past. BIG safe hugs for you!