sexual molestation at 16-18: being used

My father sexually molested me opportunistically when I was from 16-18. No penetrative sex but enough to call it molestation. He was married to his second wife (now ex) at that time. My mom was his first wife, and they were recently divorced. I lived with my mom and spent occasional time with dad. At one time, he molested me when his wife was away, probably on vacation with her son. I thought to myself that it is good that he had me for molestation in her absence because otherwise he'd turn to other women. So I was sort of helping to "keep it all in the family". I cannot get over it. I cannot get over the fact that I readily allowed myself to be used for what in my mind was the good of an essentially strange woman. Anyone else with a similar story?

Hi HB, it is amazing what children will do for their parents. Children see their parents in distress and they do want to help them.

Have you gotten any therapy to work through this?

You are so right. I did want to help.

I have been through therapy but it has not been helpful.

Would you be willing to return to therapy? If you don't mind me asking, how long ago was your therapy? How old were you then? How long were you in therapy? What did you work on?

I worked on many issues. I am indeed returning to therapy on August 1st. This time I will see a very qualified Dr. He used to be my prescribing medical psychiatrist but now I get free care through the county and do not use him. I once was in therapy with him and he immediately spotted a key issue that others had missed over the long and multiple sessions. All in all, I was in therapy from 1993 through 2012, in bursts.

Would you mind also reading http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=237902? It is a story about my father's contributing to my eating disorder. I posted it in the eating disorders forum, but I now see that it is more about abuse than about ED, so should belong here.

I told the story to one psychologist, he sympathized with me a lot, but that was it.