[struggling2]

*trigger warning for CSA and triggers*

i get really uncomfortable around little kids ages 3-7...its worse with little girls but it happens with both. its just this underlying creepy weird feeling. im always uneasy. i feel like a weirdo but i definitely have no desire or want to touch or hurt a little kid. its not like that at all. i feel like the little kid in some ways. i can play with them and talk to them but its always an underlying feeling. i am reminded of the person i suspect did something to me when i was little. he always pops in my head at these times. it makes me feel so weird. ive never understood it and always just pushed the feeling away and thought some people just arent kid people and maybe thats just me. as i start to pay more attention to it i wonder if its my brains subconscious way of trying to point out something that happened to me? does this make any sense?

[purple_fins]

It makes sense to me

I get nervous around little kids too. I so love them and worry for them, being so vulnerable and dependent.

fins

[Sannah]

Can you discuss this in therapy?

[struggling2]

yes sannah, i embarrassingly told T about this and it wasnt talked about much....more or less just "thank you for sharing that with me. im not surprised. you're not weird. and its jsut more evidence to support what you think"

[beauflow]

(((Stuggling2))) you are not alone with feeling like a 'weirdo' around little kids

That does not mean that we that feel this are weirdos ..
As Fin said as well-
The vulnerability coupled with the inappropriate reminder of what happened with myself, I worry with kids that i meet.. I worried when my S/O's niece moved away from the state, even though I may not get full along with his sister, her kids I worried about... who would be there to watch them, and such horrible dysfunction was said of her husband's family that reminded me of my own... i still worry from time to time...

I tend to be really shy in general with people and with kids yeah, and like a kid myself I feel inside but yet don't show it on the outside... The oddest thing though-- kids like me for some reason

It is horrible, this is one thing that sticks with me on wanting to help kids but need to break through.

I am sorry that your therapist was not much help on this for you-- perhaps a later date it should be brought up? Perhaps you breaking through for yourself of what is needed for you should be focused on first..... and after all, perhaps your healing on you can help with letting this 'weirdo' feeling go away?

Best thoughts your way

[Sannah]

Maybe place yourself around kids on purpose and pay close attention to yourself each time to gather some info on what is going on about this? And then discuss any info with your T or share it here? This is what I do when I need to solve something.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by struggling2

*trigger warning for CSA and triggers*

i get really uncomfortable around little kids ages 3-7...its worse with little girls but it happens with both. its just this underlying creepy weird feeling. im always uneasy. i feel like a weirdo but i definitely have no desire or want to touch or hurt a little kid. its not like that at all. i feel like the little kid in some ways. i can play with them and talk to them but its always an underlying feeling. i am reminded of the person i suspect did something to me when i was little. he always pops in my head at these times. it makes me feel so weird. ive never understood it and always just pushed the feeling away and thought some people just arent kid people and maybe thats just me. as i start to pay more attention to it i wonder if its my brains subconscious way of trying to point out something that happened to me? does this make any sense?

This makes perfect sense to me. I can completely relate. I don't even like talking to people about their kids & try to avoid it when I can. I feel creepy. I'm NOT and I wouldn't want to do anything, but it makes me very anxious.