[clouds_and_sun]

I know this may sound like a silly question but please, let me explain.
I am talking to this male who is older than me online, he knows that I like him a lot. So when I show him pictures of me, he puts me down by saying negative comments about me.
Another example is that we exchange recipes sometimes. I recently showed him a picture of something I made as he always shows pictures of his meals and I complement them. So, when I worked up the courage to show him a picture of a meal that I made, I said a gentle way, "doesn't my meal look tasty..." His responce back to me was "actually it does not look good at all." sure he may have been honest with me but he knows I suffer from low self esteem and he could have chosen better words, he is a smart man and very good with his words. This is not the first time he has made a comment like this to me before.
My only offline friend has noted how he is very bad for me, always putting me down (I have told her some of the stuff he has said). But the issue is that, for some stupid reason, I think he is attractive and he knows that I have a little crush on him and I wonder if he is using that to his advantage to abuse me.
So I guess my question is that is this considered abuse, what he does to me?
Has anyone here suffered from this kind of thing?
How did you handle it?
It makes me so depressed that he says these things to me, and I already have a hard time finding the right guy for me as it is, I really do wish the right man would come around and not have to deal with this crap.
Abuse of any kind sucks!

((((Clouds)))))

I was in a similar situation last year 4 years we were talking but it was a female, I thought we were good friends, She turned on me, I thought I knew her well, She would say some horrible nasty stuff to me, I would say it was bullying, I found it really hard to walk away from her but I had to for my own good, You need to do it too, This man is no good for you and he knows how to hurt you

[Open Eyes]

(((Clouds and sun)))

I agree with Tinkerbell. This man is not giving you any "positives" or "encouragement".
You shouldn't bother with him anymore. And please dont think you deserve any of his treatment, he is just a jerk.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

((((Clouds)))) i agree with OE. If you arent receiving constructive, positive feedback while sharing, especially if it keeps happening, then cut him off and move on. It doesn't sound as if you feel good by his replies and only worse.

Tell him you truly appreciate his input. You "understand" (meaning you see right through him and it is hopeless) wish him all the best and move on. If he has your email address or screen name account, change them.

You are looking to connect with loving funny intelligent considerate like-minded people...he doesnt sound like one at all.
It sounds like a bad "fit".

Most important, listen to and trust your instincts.

Hugs,
Rose

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by clouds_and_sun

I really do wish the right man would come around and not have to deal with this crap.

So any man is better then no man?

Originally Posted by Sannah

So any man is better then no man?

Sannah very thoughtful question you have posed ...

[Han1]

I'd steer clear of him to be honest.

You deserve better x

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi,
It is only to easy to be whom you are NOT on
line.Some people (as I have found out),are very,
very sick in the head,and this person sounds like
he is---we deserve the best possible,please detach and move away from him,he's TOXIC.
Kindest Regards,
BLUEDOVE

[Perna]

No, it is not abuse, it is just being a rude and ugly person (he is). I would not base my judgment of a person just on their physical looks; they had no control over that, that was their parents doing :-) If you know your food to be tasty and pleasing to you, then someone else's comment about a picture of it, whether positive or negative, is not very useful to you? If you are trying to get him to say nice things, boost your self-esteem; he can't do that and might resent being led ("Doesn't that look tasty" is not the same as "How does that look?") but only a thoughtless person would not answer either one positively and compliment the other person!

But why are you not dating men your own age, in your own location, instead of playing with fire/older men online?

[LouR]

he knows you have low self esteem?
Get rid of him he sounds like a low life and yeah its emotional abuse.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I have been in similar situations and have felt the same way.

I show them stuff and they put me down. I used to share poetry and cooking and other art with my bf's and they did not seem to appreciate them and my self-esteem went down even more. One reason I cannot deal with relationships.

Another thing I have run into very often, esp in online dating, was mixed messages and back and forth behavior toward me. I never knew where I stood with them and I think that was part of their game-playing.

I would feel abused, too, in your situation. I hope you can let him go.

Billi

[We_do_recover]

seriously… this guy sounds like a completely @$$hole

[JLarissaDragon]

If he is being verbally negative and putting you down at this point, it will only get worse as your relationship continues. If you were to marry him at some point, I can imagine you would be in for a lifetime of put downs. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, not constant critique. Personally I would dump him